Philly’s Ridiculously Eventful (Mostly Bad) Sports Day

Er, I guess. A lot of stuff went down yesterday, and none of it involved the teams who are currently awful — the Sixers, who we all know are awful, and the Flyers, who are awful until proven otherwise — so let’s do a couple of recaps.

• As you may have read yesterday, the Eagles released Jeremiah Trotter, the four-time Pro Bowler who once anchored the defense — and helped the Eagles make Super Bowl 39. (Roman numerals are stupider than the metric system.) Although Trotter is only 30, his knees are about 55. Trotter is looking to head for another team, though he had a somewhat weird, emotional goodbye to the Eagles. The defensive players were kind of upset. Trotter will probably head to the Denver Broncos, following Allen Iverson, as all of Philadelphia’s most popular players will head to higher altitude. I was so unsure of how to finish this I stole the previous joke from my mom. (All Jeremiah Trotter references for the rest of this year will be accompanied by references to my mom, most likely.)

• Omar Gaither will be the one replacing the Axeman. He got a call from Trotter Monday night: “The first thing he said was, ‘Congratulations.’ He explained everything to me. That means the world to me. That’s the first thing you should know about me. There’s no bad blood between us. The fact that he came out today and did what he did shows that he has my back, which helps me as far as my teammates are concerned. He told me he’d be praying for me, and I really appreciate it.” Dammit, now I’m going to miss Jeremiah Trotter even more, personality-wise, at least. Moves like this, though, make me appreciate the Eagles management — if Trotter were a Phillie he’d be here ’til 2015 at least.

Some Fightins stuff follows.

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Eddie Griffin: Not So Good At Multitasking

Eddie Griffin, the Philadelphia-born basketball star who attended and then was kicked out of Roman Catholic, was in a car accident in March. Okay, nothing big there. But then a lawsuit was filed by the owner of the car he hit.

Here’s the, uh, money shot:

The suit alleges that Griffin was watching a pornographic DVD in his SUV and masturbating when he crashed about 2:30 a.m. on March 30. Griffin, 24, had told the Star Tribune a day after the accident that a dropped cell phone caused him to crash.

Tee hee.

Tape shows Wolves’ Griffin in store after accident [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]