Astros Pitcher Does What Phillies Fans Have Wanted To Do For Years

Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has been suspended for pulling a Latrell Sprewell on GM Ed Wade.

Yes, this is the former Phillies GM, the one who looks like a Dilbert character.

“He started yelling and cussing,” Chacon said of Wade. “I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling me. Then I stood up and said ‘you better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him because at that point I wanted to beat his (butt). Words were exchanged.”

Ha ha, Ed Wade was cursing somebody out. One can only assume this means Chacon will be sent packing. Well, that, and his 5.04 ERA. Now, if he were Brett Myers…

Update: Enrico and I are on the same page here. I also love Matt’s comment:

“We can’t have anarchy,” [Astros owner Drayton] McLane said. “You can’t have rebellion.”

Even I didn’t think the Wade Era in Houston would include this quote this fast.

Breaking: Shawn Chacon Chokes a Bitch, Gets Suspended [Walkoff Walk]

Ed Wade Is Tougher Than 10 Pat Gillicks

Ed Wade, the new general manager of the Houston Astros and former GM of the Phillies, is ready for his new job. The Inquirer’s Jim Salisbury interviewed Wade and asked him about his new job and the Fightin’ Phils.

Oh, and he also talked with Wade about his devotion to extreme sports:

Wade also poked fun at himself for his much-talked-about skydiving mishap last month in South Jersey. A licensed veteran of 36 jumps, he encountered wind and had to make a quick call: Hit power lines, a building or a tree. He picked the tree, and it’s a good thing he got snagged because “I would have been a Volkswagen hitting the ground if I didn’t.”

Wade, 51, had to be freed from the tree by rescue workers, and he suffered some significant bruises. But not enough to keep him from training for his first marathon. He’ll be part of Team Travis, a group of about 180 that will run in memory of 1st Lt. Travis Manion in the Marine Corps Marathon next month in Washington.

Just wait, people. In a few years, Ed Wade’s going to win the Ironman Triathlon. He’ll probably celebrate by skydiving into a pool of hungry sharks.

On Baseball | Wade: Regrets, he’s had a few [Inquirer]

Department Of Headlines I Thought I’d Never See

My best guess? Wade got stuck in the retractable roof of Minute Maid Park in Houston while skydiving and they just figured, “Eh, we’ll just make him the GM.”

Ex-Phillies GM Wade is Houston’s new GM pick [ESPN.com]
Archives: Ex-Phillies GM Ed Wade Stuck In Tree

Ex-Phillies GM Ed Wade Stuck In Tree

Ha ha ha ha ha Ed Wade got stuck in a tree:

Former general manager Ed Wade jumped from a plane that took off from a parachuting center at Cross Keys Airport in Monroe Township, Gloucester County.

His chute opened properly, but it snagged a tree in a residential area just south of the airport on the 1400 block of North Tuckahoe Road, which runs next to the airport, according to an emergency medical technician, who answered the phone this morning.

I don’t really even think I should make a joke here, because there’s not really much funnier than Ed Wade being stuck in a tree.

Ed Wade dangles from parachute in S. Jersey tree [Inquirer]