Leftovers: Give This Man A Regular Column, STAT!

• And, the award for best columnist ever goes to Richard D. Sloan, left, whose guest column about the Catholic conspiracy behind illegal immigration should be making you laugh so hard until it tickles. This goes all the way to the Supreme Court!, he writes, and maybe it does. Someone needs to give him a regular column. [Fort Wayne News-Sentinel via All Spin Zone]

• It’s Edmund Bacon Day, and none of you jerks even bothered to get me a card. I’ll be buying an airbrushed t-shirt and an overpriced CD at The Gallery to honor the late, great Bacon’s legacy. [Metro]

• Oh, Tanya Barrientos. I really, really tried to poke fun at your Inquirer column about foot fashion and care and… I just couldn’t. It was too bubbly. Plus, those articles are necessary to keep the Inky’s stranglehold on the “suburban fortysomething” market. [Inky]

• That $100 check to pay for gas (or new kicks)? Not so much. The oil companies hated it because they were going to be taxed to pay for it and drivers were confused as to just how much it was going to help and everybody else was like, “Sweet, free money!” Unfortunately, it failed. No new Nikes for me. [AP/CNN]

• Atlantic City’s rally to keep Boardwalk on the board of the Monopoly “Here & Now” edition drew only a few people. Poor Boardwalk. Poor, poor Boardwalk. [KYW 1060]