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Bootleg Rubber Ducks Best Way To Celebrate Phillies World Series Win

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Hey kids! Pumped about the Phillies? Don’t waste your time buying the official merchandise; that’s for big time liberal rich folk. And don’t bother with that Why Can’t Us merchandise either. How dare someone capitalize on a catchphrase and give all the money to charity.

What you really need is some bootleg Why Can’t Us merch — a rubber duck, no less!

What would a World Series be without rallying cries and symbols? Past years gave us Rocktober, the Rally Monkey and Homer Hankies.

This year the Philadelphia Phillies have adopted a rubber duck and the slogan, “Why can’t us?”

Somebody from Radnor has 100 of these to sell, so, um, get ‘em while they’re hot.

Philadelphia Phillies Rubber Duck [eBay]

Revisionist History

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A hearty fellow on eBay is selling the t-shirt at right, apparently saved from the incinerator after the Eagles lost Super Bowl 39.

BIdding is up to just over $26 — I’ve already been outbid — so with shipping included it’s only a little over 30 bucks right now to pretend the Eagles covered Mike Vrabel on the goal line even thought everybody knew the pass was going to him, or maybe to pretend the Eagles remembered what the hurry-up offense was.

You know what? I think it’s easier to pretend that game never happened than to pretend the Eagles won it.

ERROR Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl 39 Champs T-Shirt [eBay via Bleeding Green Nation]

Mint Prohibition Doesn’t Work!

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What have I been telling you people? When you try to ban mints, the only people helped are the illegal mint sellers. How else to explain, a day after Hershey’s pulled the plug on Jill Porter’s crack cocaine mints, the plethora of listings on eBay for the “discontinued, limited edition” mints. On the street, Hershey’s mints go for about $2.19. But now that they’ve been forced to the black market, the mints are selling for close to 10 bucks (plus shipping) with several auction days to go.

Now our children are going to buy the mints online, replace them with real drugs and sell the fake mints to their friends, who will respond with a hail of bullets. Sound far-fetched? This was one of the reasons the company banned the mints that somehow “glorify the drug trade.” Really. People actually said that.

Apparently the crusade wasn’t limited to Philadelphia, although Philly was apparently the only city to call for Hershey’s to remove “Ice Break Pacs,” whatever they are. The Daily News gloats today over its great triumph for humanity.

Meanwhile, the activists are not happy, and are still boycotting Hershey products. I urge all good Philadelphians to smoke a little crack for ol’ Milton Hershey and his crack cocaine mints tonight. RIP, Ice Breaker Pacs.

Some Kid Is Making A Mint Right Now

Chase Utley may have an $85 million, 7-year deal from the Phillies, but in terms of promotional items, Utley has nothing on Shane Victorino.

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Only $300 for a hula bobble figurine of Victorino Hop Devil. But, hey, if he keeps hitting walkoff homers

SHANE VICTORINO HULA BOBBLE DOLL PHILLIES SGA 2007 DRY [eBay]
Hawaiian Punch [Daily News]
May 14: Fleece Blankets Are The New Bobbleheads

Fleece Blankets Are The New Bobbleheads

With Ryan Howard on the disabled list, it appears Phillies fans — at least those of the female persuasion — are set to move right on over to Chase Utley.

Case in point: The eBay auctions for the Chase Utley fleece given away to women over 14 at yesterday’s Phils game.

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Alert reader anonymous reader IMs:

anonymous reader: nb: i really want a chutley blanket to cozy up in, but they are going for FIFTY DOLLARS on ebay

reader: fifty dollars!!!
pwddmac: i’m bloging that
reader: good
reader: i’m pissed!
reader: i want to wrap myself in chutley but i’m not going to whore it out for fifty dollars
reader: i wouldn’t even spend that much for tickets to the game where you got that blankie for free!
reader: seriously
reader: WTF
reader: what is wrong with our culture?

Search: chase utley blanket [eBay]

Blogicized: G-Ho Ho Ho

• I’ve been meaning to promote this idea for a while, but I kept forgetting to. Brad Maule of Phillyskyline has declared that the Graduate Hospital area shall be called G-Ho, and, frankly, that sounds like a great idea to me. G-Ho! It’s the next JuNoGi, only better! [Phillyskyline]

• New changes at Citizens Bank Park this year: A higher left field fence, a more injured David Bell and no more Geno’s. Rick’s Steaks will be taking its place. [The 700 Level]

• Pennsylvania has turned to eBay to sell knives, scissors, bombs and NBA players’ marijuana confiscated from airports (wait, scratch those last two). [DaveRalis.com]

• Albert Yee is on the ballot for committeeperson! Chuck Pennachio better put a “Yee 2006″ banner on his blog now, too. [dragonballyee]