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The Fringe Festival — officially the “Live Arts Festival & Philly Fringe,” but I’ll call it whatever the hell I want it to — starts the last day of August, and I figured I’d pass on a little tidbit of advice beforehand to all the performers.
Don’t have your act go like this:
EDINBURGH (AFP) - A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Daniel Blackner, or “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf”, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances. The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.
The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required. He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and … hospitalisation.
Okay. Keep the vacuum cleaners off your penises — or your breasts and vagina, I’d assume — and use them to keep the venues clean instead. Or, you know, let the glue dry first. Just a little word of advice.
British dwarf’s penis gets stuck to hoover [AFP/Yahoo!]
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