We Want The Lion To Take A Taxi

“The Penn State senior who plays the Nittany Lion mascot was arrested on a DUI charge and his status for the Rose Bowl is in doubt, police and school officials said.” The Associated Press also notes the Nittany Lion must maintain a 3.0 GPA in order to keep his job. Maybe the kid got it confused with BAC? [AP/Philly.com]

Awful Myspace Page Makes ‘DN’ Cover

Hey, look, my Myspace pal from South Philly made the cover of the Daily News today! Not quite sure what’s up with that cover though: Is that… a laptop? On, like, a graffiti-laden streetcorner? That is a good place to use your laptop. And with citywide Wi-Fi… uhm, nevermind.

Nice touch with the Vito Genovese photo, too.

The Daily News is all, OMG this 18-year-old drinks and smokes pot; unfortunately for him, unlike all the other 18-year-olds who drink and smoke pot, he put it directly on his Myspace page. Oh, and unlike all the other 18-year-olds who also already do that, he went and ran over two women with his car. Allegedly while intoxicated!

The cops executed a search warrant yesterday and took this kid’s computer. (Weird.) The best part of the Daily News story is this:

“LOok AT ALL DATT WEeD!!!!” he wrote under one photo. “ahaha brought a POUNd just 2go 2pROM!!!!!!”

He also posted a picture of a sign, seen in many store windows throughout the city, that reads: “I proudly support the Philadelphia Police”

In the caption to that photo, Genovese writes that “i putt a dutch infront of the piggs posterr . . . ”

A dutch, according to the Urban Dictionary, is a cigar wrapper that is typically used for rolling marijuana.

The Daily News feels its readers are not familiar with the song “Pass the Dutchie.” The article is like 450 billion words long and is the most descriptive version of a Myspace profile, ever. I did enjoy this, though:

Some of his online friends seem to be just as oblivious to the severity of the charges facing him. One friend wrote that he was “never gettin aride” from Genovese again[.]

I don’t know; wouldn’t that mean the friend was pretty aware of the severity of the charges?

Alleged DUI killer’s MySpace profile depicts youth consumed with money, drugs and graffiti [Daily News]

DUIs For Everyone!

Ha ha, time to laugh at other people’s misfortune again! This time it’s in Bucks County (where else?). A 16-year-old was arrested for a DUI. His mother went to pick him up and was arrested herself for DUI.

And, apparently, Hilltown is the league leader in double parent-child DUI cases!

As strange as it sounds, [Police Chief Chris] Engelhart’s department sees a case like this almost every year. “I’m sure it happens in other places, but for some reason it seems like we’ve had our fair share,” he said.

Quite an impressive stat; if they keep this up, they could be in the Hall of Fame one day.

Police: DUI mom came to HQ to get DUI son [Bucks County Courier Times]

Pennsylvanians: Drunk!

While Philadelphia continues to march toward 500 murders this year, it’s not just the southeastern part of the state that’s setting records this year.

Apparently, while in Philly we’re killin’ each other, in the rest of Pennsylvania they just get drunk and go joyriding.

Spokesman Jack Lewis says Pennsylvania State Police arrested 15,047 drivers for DUI in 2006. That’s a 10 percent increase over the 13,614 DUI arrests made in 2005, which was also a record:

“Well, unfortunately, it’s a bad sign that we still see so many people out on the roads drinking and driving. On the other hand, I think additional training for our troopers has resulted in additional arrests.”

In 2006, Pennsylvania State Police investigated almost 4,700 alcohol-related crashes - a two percent increase over 2005.

Woohoo! Let’s all celebrate with a brew glass of water.

DUI Arrests in Pa. Hit Record High [KYW 1060]