Have youse seen the new Patrick Murphy ad? He’s shown leaving his home (in Bristol!) to meet with voters at a diner (in Bristol!). “Patrick Murphy’s always remembered where he comes from,” says a woman. (He’s not from Bristol! He grew up in Parkwood.) He’s also pro-change, the first time a candidate for office has ever promised either “hope” or “change.”
Anyway, Murphy then heads to such diverse locales as Doylestown, Washington’s Crossing and Fairless Hills, before returning to his home in Bloomsdale-Fleetwing to ask his wife how her day was.
NBC 10 told us a week or so ago that raves still existed, and now a fad from even earlier in the 1990s is apparently still around: Drano bombs! Okay, so “kids” and “blowing shit up” is a pair that’s been around for millions of years. Whatever.
The Horsham police are calling them “works bombs,” but that’s probably just a hip new term. “Works bombs” are a combination of tin foil and toilet bowl cleaner; the two mixes produce a gas which, when capped, will eventually explode.
Apparently kids in Horsham have moved on from knocking over mailboxes with baseball bats to blowing them up with bombs. Frankly, that shows some real dedication to chemistry. Maybe it’s for extra credit?
Update:It’s a crime wave! The bomb-in-a-mailbox prank has spread from Warminster to Upper Moreland to Doylestown to Horsham, The Intelligencer writes. And, please, be careful: “Police advise anyone who finds a soda bottle in a mailbox not to touch it and to call police immediately.”
But of course. However, it’s not all fun and stolen stereos. This technique is called a bad word, too.
We can’t tell you what the kids call it. But let’s just say they’ve turned a really bad insult word into a verb to describe stealing valuables from people who leave their cars unlocked. Doylestown Township police saw two dozen of these incidents in the last five months and recently arrested three teens.
Chief Joseph White says there are probably more young thieves out there: “I actually believe that the word has spread amongst teenagers and young adults that way.”
I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a word spread exclusively through crime, Chief Joseph, but whatever you say. I love how KYW 1060 can hint at the word — badly, of course — and describe it as simply “a really bad insult word.” It’s like a quiz! Can you guess which “really bad insult word” kids call stealing from a car? Twating? Cunting? Motherfuckering? So many options!
The word in question for breaking into an unlocked car and stealing the radio or whatever is, unfortunately, most likely “niggering,” since there’s nothing more idiot suburban white kids like to do than throw around racial slurs like they’re footballs. I suppose “a really bad insult word” is an apt description, but I think I would have gone with something a little stronger.
• Meanwhile, in Cherry Hill, the war on sex offenders bans one man from living in the township altogether, pretty much, and he’s at a low risk of re-offending, etc. It’s one of those laws meant to protect the public, and it screws people who were convicted of a crime even if they’ve served a sentence. C.H.’s response is nice, though: “They should blame themselves and not elected officials who are trying to protect the community.” Thanks, Cherry Hill Councilman Frank Falcone! [Camden Courier-Post]
• The number five story of the year from the Doylestown Intelligencer: Doylestown Borough’s crackdown on teens. “I’m not declaring victory yet, but it’s been pretty good lately,” Police Chief James Donnelly. Another unwinnable war. [Doylestown Intelligencer]
• Murder count climbs at year end: We’re at 403 now. [Daily News]
Last month, NBC 10 “broke” the story of WeBeHigh.com, a website dedicated to the availability of marijuana in particular towns. NBC 10 didn’t name the site, but as many noticed, there’s this thing on the Internet called “Google” that allowed people to search terms they saw in NBC 10’s screenshots — or, uh, “Horsham Marijuana” — to find the site.
Philly EDGE, the dean of Philadelphia suburban alt-weeklies, explores the issue further this week, making sure to note that there is currently no entry on where to get weed in New Hope. They also interview the site’s founder, Nir Shafir of Tel Aviv, and Lt. Mike Cummings of the Doylestown Police Department:
Cummings equated the site to something like citysearch.com, where—below a site-sponsored restaurant review—anyone with a command of the English language can post their views. “[The evaluation of Doylestown] is just one guy’s opinion,” he said. “He doesn’t even give his name. It’s just sort of like, how do I even know that this guy knows what good weed is?”
That’s right. Who knows what “qualifications” Stoner420 has to post on his little messageboard! Then again, wouldn’t a self-proclaimed stoner have a pretty good idea what’s good and what’s not?
Marijuana-related infractions in Doylestown have only been decreasing in recent years, in part to an increase in the number of officers patrolling areas once popular for using and selling. “I’ve been told lately that Doylestown is dry,” Cummings said. “Kids here are telling me that they’re driving to Trenton or down to Camden now for their drugs. They aren’t getting them here, and they’re not even going down to Philly anymore, because of the watchdog cameras.”
Wait. Cameras? Are stopping drug sales in Philadelphia? Oh, Lt. Cummings, you card!
Of course, since the NBC 10 report, you can probably guess what happened:
WeBeHigh.com lists the date that each town’s evaluation is posted on the site, and Yardley, which was added on Sept. 17, was likely posted by someone who caught the segment on T.V.—which is ironic, said S.K., 18, of Yardley, “NBC’s story only helped the site’s popularity, if you think about it.”
Thank you, NBC 10. You’ve made the suburban stoners proud. Then again, the NBC 10 newscasts are undoubtedly 1000 times better while high, so maybe it’s some sort of guerilla marketing.
An item from the Doylestown Intelligencer crime log:
Full moon gets teen cited: A 17-year-old Warwick boy who pulled down his pants to expose his buttocks in town on Aug. 17 got a citation for his prank. The boy, who lives on Fawn Lane, showed off his backside at the takeout window of a North Main Street restaurant. Police did not release his name because he’s a juvenile.
And you thought Philadelphia’s crime problems were bad. Only until Harrisburg lets Doylestown pass its own, reasonable mooning legislation will the problem cease. Unfortunately, the legislature is a slave to the pro-mooning lobby and won’t allow Doylestown the option of enacting its own mooning laws.
Mischief, vandalism in Doylestown: From a damaged tree fort to paint ball shootings, Doylestown police were busy investigating mischief and vandalism incidents during the past two weeks.
A tree fort at a property on Hillendale Drive was damage last Friday. The owner told police that someone went into the fort, cut screening and urinated on the floor.
A Bucks County-owned vehicle, used by the sheriff’s department, was damaged while parked at the county’s parking garage near the courthouse this week. The phrase, “Leave us alone, we’re not hurting anyone,” was scratched into the hood of the vehicle. A small dent was also found. The damage was reported Wednesday.
The word “one” was painted on the side of the Wine and Spirit Shoppe on Veterans Lane earlier this month. The damage was found June 12.
An egg was thrown at a patio and grill at a house on Bridge Street on June 15, police said.
