Doug Glanville, A Hall Of Famer Somewhere

A nice piece of science fiction from former Penn star/Phillies centerfielder Doug Glanville was in his column in, um, The New York Times.

Imagine, for instance, if they eliminated the fences and made the distance between bases 75 feet instead of 90 feet. Home run hitters would be marginalized and speed would become a dominant force. Who knows? If I had played under those modifications, I might have been able to call this column “Reflections of a Hall of Fame Legend.”

Hmm. Before this column I had never thought of an alternate universe where Doug Glanville is a Hall of Famer, up is down, green is red and night is day. I wonder if it would be the anarcho-capitalist utopia I’m imagining it to be.

Doubleday and Darwin [NYT]

Phillies Lose Either Way With ‘Roid Report

The Mitchell Report, a sure to be disappointing look at steroids in baseball, will be released today. Commissioned by Baseball Commish Bud Selig and headed up by former U.S. Senator George Mitchell, the report is expected to name between 60 and 80 players who took ‘roids.

The real question is, of course: What Phillies will be named? The biggest example of possible Phillies supplementation is Lenny Dykstra, the 1993 team’s best player and runner-up for National League MVP that year. (Incidentally, Barry Bonds won.)

So will any current or former Phillies will be on the list? Doug Glanville, most definitely, but who else? All I know is, if there aren’t any Phils on the list, we can be sure they just don’t care enough to cheat to win.

See also: How the rest of the division’s shaping up against the Phils.