N.J. Now In Charge Of NCAA Timing

While Temple lost earlier today, the hopes for one local women’s team could be improving. You see, a New Jersey state lawmaker is going to investigate a Rutgers loss earlier this year where there was a bad foul call!

Rutgers, who lost to Tennessee in last year’s NCAA Final and later had all its team members brutally murdered by Don Imus, lost the rematch this year on a foul called after time expired because the clock froze at 0.2 seconds. Tennessee hit a pair of free throws and the Vols won. To recap: The refs screwed up back on Feb. 11, some N.J. lawmaker just wants to investigate it now so the NCAA can, I ‘unno, give Rutgers a better seed all of a sudden.

Robert W. Singer is going to solve this huge problem and will probably not get any criticism for it. “It was an exciting game, and you know, you win some, you lose some,” he said. “That’s not the issue. The issue is with today’s technology there should be a better way to do it.” He actually wants the game overturned and the win given to Rutgers!

“This is not the most pressing issue, but it’s something to me that’s an issue that we can take care of and we can send a resolution,” he said. “Not a big deal to do, but it sends a message the state would like to take a look at it.”

Yes, the State of New Jersey should be investigating all NCAA clock violations. I believe those powers are enumerated to them in the U.S. Constitution.

Lawmaker seeks NCAA probe of Rutgers’ loss to Tennessee [Courier-Post/Associated Press]

Smerconish On MSNBC Wrap-Up

Michael Smerconish took his first crack at becoming the next Don Imus — is that something you really want? — this morning on MSNBC, as his show was simulcast from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. in the former Imus slot.

As a service to my readers, I watched all three hours of Smerconish’s show this morning. I learned a lot, actually, especially since Smerconish had 1500 guests on, including Ghandi, the late Frank Rizzo, Allen Iverson (fresh off his Game 1 Playoffs triumph) and Pat Sajak.

Okay, he really didn’t have any of those people, but he did have Rudy Guiliani, Arlen Specter, Camille Paglia, Jackie Mason and, of course, Jon Anderson from the band Yes. Richard Clarke also came in to plug his second novel and actually said terrorists could shut down the Internet by blowing up a little unguarded hut in Atlantic City. Oh, and Michael Smerconish and his sons went into the backyard Saturday and played paintball by shooting at an Osama bin Laden target.

More down below.

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Smerconish To Audition To Be Next Don Imus

Oh-ho-ho! Monday morning, guess which local conservative, uh, “big talker,” will be simulcast on the MSNBC slot most recently occupied by one Don Imus? That’s right: Dan Gross reports it’ll be none other than Michael Smerconish.

For his big MSNBC show on Monday, Smerconish’s guests Monday will include (please note, I am not making this listup):

• MSNBC host Chris Matthews
• Terrorism analyst Richard Clarke
• Comedian Jackie Mason
• I repeat: I am not making this list up
• Jon Anderson from the band Yes

If there is one way for NBC to capture the ratings Don Imus once had, I can’t think of any better way than Jackie Mason and Jon Anderson. Next week: the late Henny Youngman and Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull¹!

¹ Please note: The neutrality of Jethro Tull’s Wikipedia page is disputed.

Smerconish show on MSNBC Monday [Daily News]

Driver Who Can’t Get Speeding Ticket Drives Fast

Breaking news out of New Jersey for those of you who can’t put two and two together: The driver of Corzine’s car was speeding during the accident that injured the governor.

The state trooper was going 91 miles per hour on the Garden State Parkway or possibly the New Jersey Turnpike. (There’s no word if the driver was the same one who used to drive Gov. Rendell 100 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, but one can assume each gubernatorial administration has its own speedy driver.)

There’s really not much else to this story, except this:

State Police Superintendent Col. Joseph “Rick” Fuentes said troopers driving governors have discretion whether to speed or use their lights in emergency situations or to avoid standing traffic for security reasons.

He refused to say whether Corzine’s trip from Atlantic City to Princeton for a meeting at the governor’s mansion between fired radio personality Don Imus and the Rutgers University women’s basketball team constituted an emergency.

Yes, leaving the city where you can do coke off a hooker’s ass for, like, $10 to mediate a debate between the Cryptkeeper and a basketball team that got embarrassed in the championship game is most importantly an emergency.

Corzine’s van going 91 mph before accident [Camden Courier-Post]

America’s Best Columnist Strikes Again

A press release came over the transom Friday afternoon from Bulletin columnist Chris Freind.

You might remember Freind from his column about what a great columnist he is last month. You might also be asking: Why did you get a press release from a columnist for a local paper? (Well, technically, a few people sent it to me, but still.)

Why, sort of the same idea as with Freind’s column: He’s the only American columnist who isn’t a spineless wimp or permanently attached to either George Bush’s or Barack Obama’s jock.

From: Chris Freind

Date: Fri, 13 Apr 2007 16:04:08 -0400
To: [redacted emails of 99.999... percent of East Coast media outlets]
Subject: Philadelphia’s “Freindly Fire”takes aim at hypocrisy of Bruce Gordon, Sharpton and Jackson

Dear Editor:

I author a twice-weekly commentary column for the Philadelphia Bulletin, branded “Freindly Fire” (a play on my last name). My national reader response rate is extremely high because of my “take no prisoners” style and the fact that I tackle issues with rare candor and a unique critical eye.

Accordingly, attached please find my latest column, scheduled to appear in The Bulletin’s Weekend print and online editions. It chastises the outright racial hypocrisy of CBS Director (and former NAACP head) Bruce Gordon, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, especially poignant given that all charges were dropped against the Duke University lacrosse players.

Please feel free to run the column or contact me for further comment or an interview. I am available around the clock.

I will also be issuing an explosive challenge to all three men early next week.

A headshot is available.

Best Regards,
Christopher W. Freind

Wow! I didn’t know of any other person who pointed out Al Shapton et al might not exactly be saints themselves!

This column must be a masterpiece. Let’s go check it out the first sentence on the Bulletin’s website!

America may well be closer to an all-out race war than it has been in 40 years.

Well, that’s it for me, folks. Full email — featuring a Chris Freind bio (!) — after the jump.

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Don Imus Continues To Attack New Jersey

Don Imus continued his relentless attack on New Jersey yesterday during a meeting originally thought to be simply a meeting between the Rutgers’ women’s basketball team and Imus.

On the way to moderate the meeting, New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine was seriously injured in a hit-and-run car accident. A red pickup truck cut off a Dodge Ram, which swerved in front of Corzine’s vehicle. Police are looking for the driver of the red pickup, and are suggesting N.J. residents go on a vigilante spree of citizen justice against anyone driving a red pickup truck.

Corzine suffered a multitude of broken bones, and his femur apparently broke through his skin, but he’s expected to be okay. Dick Codey is the acting N.J. governor, ah, again, until Corzine is recovered enough to get back to governin’.

Meanwhile, police are investigating how much culpability Don Imus has in the situation, working on the theory the meeting with the Rutgers’ women’s team was a setup in order to get to Corzine and injure him for perceived injustices against Imus. Police are also looking into theories that Imus is the real, real father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby and he has been posing as various members of the Philadelphia Phillies bullpen in the first nine games of the season.

Corzine hurt in crash [Inquirer]
[Photo and caption from CNN.com]

Juan Plans To Boycott Don

With the city recently spending inordinate amounts of time on such things as the smoking ban, the trans fat ban, the tour guide regulation, the law helping old ladies cross the street and the now-tossed out blunt ban, it was only time before City Council turned its collective eye to the city’s biggest problem: Don Imus.

Yes, hot on the heels of the Get out of Iraq ballot question we all get to answer on May 15, City Councilman Juan Ramos is planning on introduce a resolution calling for a boycott of Don Imus’ show until the radio host resigns or is fired.

Of course, this wouldn’t be like the trans fat ban, as it isn’t binding in any way and people would still be able to listen to Don Imus. But, hey, if there’s an issue that’s in the news, City Council has to get involved in it. I can’t wait ’til the bill challenging the paternity test which declared Larry Birkhead Anna Nicole’s baby daddy.

Juan, not Ben, calls for end to Imus [Fight for Room 215]