Ungrateful Portuguese Water Dog Breeder Angry At Obama

You might think these would be heady times for breeders of Portuguese Water Dogs. President Obama is getting Portuguese Water Dog for the White House! Dog breeders should be dancing in the streets, kissing nurses in the middle of Times Square, overturning cars and generally having the time of their lives.

The dog the president owns is, like, the president of dogs, right? Besides winning Westminster, there isn’t really a higher honor for a breeder.

Well, apparently, a “local Portuguese Water Dog breeder” isn’t a big anti-American terrorist, according to KYW 1060. Said Berks County Breeder (okay, so it’s “local”) is worried about Portuguese water dogs showing up in puppy mills, those dog-breeding factories with hellish conditions sometimes run by the Amish.

I would suggest a more proactive approach: Say you’re excited about your dog breed becoming dog president but sternly remind everyone not to buy dogs from puppy mills. Or maybe you can drive around a la Joey Vento and tell people not to buy Portuguese Water Dogs from pet stores. And also, you should totally find a nickname for the breed; the full name is kind of too long. PWDs, maybe?

Or you should stop being a typical ungrateful American who hates this country. If you don’t like it, take your dogs and move back to Portugal.

Local Portuguese Water Dog Breeder is Concerned [KYW 1060]
Photo by Ber’Zophus used under a Creative Commons license

Lab #1 Pup In Philly

KYW 1060 reports the labrador retriever is the most popular dog in the country for the 18th straight year.

For the 18th consecutive year, the Labrador retriever is the most popular dog, according to 2008 registration records released by the American Kennel Club.

But the breed may not be for everyone, a local expert warns.

Man, can the news report any story without coming up with some dire warning from a local expert? Ahh, whatever. I got to post another puppy photo, so all is well. Plus, it turns out the Labrador retriever is the number-one puppy in Philly, too.

Unfortunately, the top-10 table for Philadelphia is followed by this quote:

“Working breeds are popular among Philadelphians with the Boxer highest on the list in third place – perhaps as a tribute to hometown hero and boxing brethren ‘Rocky.’ Rottweilers made big gains from ninth in 2007 to sixth in 2008 along with the Doberman Pinscher which debuted this year on the list in tenth place,” said AKC Spokesperson Lisa Peterson.

Man, no matter where you look, there’s a Rocky reference. What, couldn’t figure out a way to say Labs can be the color of a cheesesteak?

Photo by corrieb used under a Creative Commons license

Philly.com’s Pup-Tastic Front

Philly.com front, right now:

Awww. Look at the little Cavalier! Isn’t he cute! Isn’t her a cute wittle itty bitty puppy…

Erhm. I mean. Hey, here’s the current Philly.com front, shamelessly featuring one of my favorite dog breeds in an attempt to get a link. Nice try, guys, but it’s not going to w–oh, yeah, I guess it did. Aww, cute wittle doggy.

Ed Rendell Enlists Puppy Army

Gov. Ed Rendell spoke today at a rally in favor of his puppy mill law, which some legislators are attempting to shoot down because it might cost them (or their donors) money. And the world continues to spin.

The puppy mill law supporters are pulling out all the stops, though, with an army of cute doggies.

Rendell made his comments on Tuesday during a capitol rally attended by dog lovers, when he could get a word in edgewise:

“Each and every one of you have to go to your senators and tell them this is an issue that you’ll vote on! [barking] [cheering] A smart dog as well, right?” The governor was upstaged by his own dog, a golden retriever named Maggie.

That’s funny, because I bet Maggie does better football analysis, too.

Rendell Rallies Supporters of His Puppy Mill Proposal [KYW 1060]
Photo by CavinB, Creative Commons license

No Excuses, Except This One

The Daily News has a story today about a dock owner in Margate who thinks the town wants her out so it can build condos or something.

The U.S. basketball team is being too distracting with its dunks for me to get into the story, so let’s just cut to the chase: This woman breaks the rules occasionally, and the town occasionally busts her. She says that’s unfair. (Really, it kinda does go something like this.) Here’s my favorite part:

The impetus for the restraining order happened Aug. 9, when a police patrol boat stopped one of Scott’s rentals for going too fast in a no-wake zone.

It turned out that the registration for Scott’s entire fleet had expired on July 31, something she admits was her fault.

“I have no excuses for that,” she said, as her black lab, Dock Dog, chewed on bamboo leaves. “I’m the mom running a mom-and-pop shop.”

The only thing better than the excuse following the “no excuses” line is the important details of her dog’s breed, her dog’s name and her dog’s bamboo leaf chewing. Very important details.

Dock owner sees Margate conspiracy [Daily News]

A Criminal Worse Than Hitler

In a city where horrors happen daily, this crime seemed more horrific than most.

Oh, man, what was it? Did Christine Flowers shoot somebody who made fun of the Pope? Did 500 kids get killed all at once?

No, wait, of course: It was an attack on a dog. Okay, so the woman allegedly attacked the dog with a hatchet, which is pretty ridiculous — fight fair, lady! — but of course the Daily News treats it as if Zombie Barbaro had been killed. Uhm, again.

About A Dog

This week’s Northeast Times letters page is a treasure trove of excellent letters, including this one, written by Kelley McGrath of Brookhaven. Naturally, the testy letter comes from an argument concerning a dog:

This letter is for the uncouth woman who confronted me at the park on Saturday, March 15, at approximately 9 a.m.

Your ostentatious display was misguided and totally uncalled for. Had you known anything about dogs, you would know that there is nothing inhumane about so-called “choke collars” when used properly. And at no time have I ever been in jeopardy of “breaking [my] dog’s trachea,” as you so absurdly implied.

Being the lady that I am, I opted to dismiss your imprudent attack, rather than engage you in a heated exchange in front of your child.

But while I have put your ugly and false reproach behind me, there is one thing I still feel duty-bound to call your attention to: try to keep your composure when carrying conversations with others. You emit projectile saliva from your braces when you get excited.

Is that last line an insult or a line from a Monty Python movie?

Letters 4.10 [Northeast Times]

Erin Go Bragh And Such

Hey, today is also St. Patrick’s Day, which this year is conveniently also only a few days before Easter and therefore during Holy Week, so nobody is out celebrating or drinking or anything like that.

Okay, so people have been drinking a bit. But no matter, drinking is one of our legal drugs and therefore the only harm people are doing is to themselves. And to the people they drunkenly punch. I hereby await the call for our next holiday where the main activity is taking a drug: 4/20 Day!

Oh, yeah, there’s also the Irish stuff, and the story where St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland. Hooray!

CBS 3 Reports On Inspirational Puppy

Uh, so here’s CBS 3’s story about an inspirational local dog. No, really: on the site, the video is titled Abandoned Dog Becomes Inspiration To Many. Buddy, a cute Maltese mix, was found at a Macy’s at a mall. He is now an inspiration to many, apparently. I must say: I am pretty inspired.

This took up 2 minutes, 13 seconds of the newscast at 6 p.m. yesterday. That’s a lot to spend on a half-hour news program. But, like the guy says on the report, p… p… puppy!! Aww, he’s a fuzzy little guy.

Bear Patrol Apparently Working Smoothly

Oh, so that bear in West Philadelphia? Yes, that was a lie; the prints were determined to be from a dog.

Bears have five prints on their paw tracks; dogs only have four. Hey, wouldn’t you know.

The large dog is still at large.

Experts Determine Paw Prints Belong To K-9 [CBS 3]

[Photo via Flickr]