Knox Dreams Of Jeannie

Tom Knox grew up in public housing, worked odd jobs, and… okay, you know the deal. But you don’t go from public housing to the boardrooms without knowing how to make deals — although Tom Knox’s detractors say his people skills are bad — and Knox is apparently close to striking a deal that could help him capture the mayor’s office later this month.

Yes, Knox is pondering an alliance with Jannie Blackwell. For Knox, the partnership could bring Blackwell’s street team — wow, mayoral politics are like Y100! — or whatever. For Blackwell, Knox could support her bid for City Council president. And OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????

GAAAAAH! Are people going to buy this paper? I picked it up at the newsstand today and I felt dirty. It’s, by far, the creepiest Daily News cover ever. If you look, Knox’s neck looks ridiculously creepy, Jannie Blackwell appears to have her head recently attached — though I guess it’s a chain instead — and Knox’s expression…. GAH! GAH! My eyes, it burns, it burns!

Knox & Blackwell ponder alliance [Daily News]

No Steve Irwin Puns Here, No Sir

Last night at quizzo — or, since it was New Deck, “Quizo” — I learned a very important thing: It’s already apparently okay to joke about Steve Irwin’s death. (It’s a coping mechanism, I suppose. It’s okay; nobody from his family was there.) Team names included: Six Feet Down Under; Float Like a Crocodile, Sting Like a Ray (uhh, this may have been ours, I don’t remember); about three team names involving “Crikey!” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Steve Irwin and the Stingrays.

Someone from the Daily News, who was moralizing about t-shirts just a few weeks ago, must have been at Quizo last night, too, since today’s cover story headline is “It’s No Croc!” (Isn’t the expression “What a Croc?”)

Which means that the Daily News apparently has these rules: It’s okay to joke about death or violence, as long as it’s thousands of miles away. Naturally.

Irwin’s death caught on videotape [CNN]
Aug. 21: T-Shirt Turned 21 In Prison Doing Life Without Parole

T-Shirt Turned 21 In Prison Doing Life Without Parole

Hmm. You make a good point, Daily News. Know what else this city might not need? Hypocritical newspapers that find it okay to joke about sex slaves (among other things) but act like t-shirts are the biggest problem in the city in a desperate attempt to remain relevant. But, no, they’re not funny. Captain Crunch parodies are so 1990s.

Tune in tomorrow, when the Daily News takes on those “Dallas Sucks/T.O. Swallows” shirts for their vulgar language and blatant copyright infringement on Calvin & Hobbes.

Think it’s funny? [Daily News]
Friday: The Clever-Yet-Cringe Worthy Headline Of The Day

‘Daily News’ Coins Cable Newsesque Slogan For City’s Soaring Murder Rate

All they need is a little scrolling ticker at the bottom and some missing white women stories and they can start their own TV channel.

Pair found shot, killed in Northeast Philadelphia apartment [DN]