Fake Disaster Goes Off Without A Hitch

The fake disaster last night was smooth sailing for everyone involved, especially since it was fake there weren’t any dead people. The disaster was actually a terrorist attack, where there were bombings at 30th Street Station and the Art Museum.

A pretend car bomb went off that left almost 100 volunteers wounded or dead on the street in front of the museum. The street was strewn with arms and legs of manikins to add a touch of realism, along with the moans of the seemingly injured.

Did they have recorded moans? How does one volunteer for “injured in terrorist attack” acting? At least we do know we’re safe the next time al-Qaeda attacks 30th Street Station and the Art Museum.

Simulated Mayhem Tests Area Responders [NBC 10]
Yesterday: Let’s Get Pumped For Fake Disaster 2K7!

Leftovers: Recycle, Beautifully

• Rejoice, Northeast Philadelphians! You can now recycle without sorting and you’ll get it picked up by these spiffy trucks! Because nothing is going to make people on the Avenue recycle than pretty, pretty trucks. [Metro]

• Hey, look, there’s war going on in the Middle East. Man, I thought that show was cancelled. [CNN.com]

• Article of the Day™: This New York Times piece about the word slut. Apparently, “Like ‘queer’ and ‘pimp’ before it, the word slut seems to be moving away from its meaning as a slur. Or is it?” One day, I hope to be able to write an article with a paragraph that profound. [NYT]

• Philly: Not prepared for an evacuation. So if aliens attack, we’re screwed. [Inquirer]

• More Metro fun: Goers, who lives in the G-Ho section of Philly, is a computer programmer.” G-Ho! [Metro]

Leftovers: The Wonderful Mr. Barbaro

• The horse speaks! Well, through his publicist. [The Morning News]

• Hey, guess what? In the case of a disaster, we’re not so screwed after all. Well, if you believe a website on the Internet. [KYW 1060]

• Philebrity hacked by Spy Kids! Soon, the villains from another Robert Rodriguez movie (From Dusk TIll Dawn) will be attacking the sire, just watch. [Philebrity]

• Fumo aides in email: “He REALLY wants that mail gone.” Bum bum bum! [Inky]

• A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago has continued to chronicle the spelling bee. Fantastic. [Throwing Things]

You’re doing a great job, Deputy Mayor of Transportationie!

The City Controller’s office released a report recently that assessed the city’s amount of preparedness for a terrorist attack or a natural disaster. The result: The city is perfectly prepared, and won’t have any problems if Osama Bin Laden attacks the city. In fact, John Street himself has figured out a way to turn citizens of Philadelphia into pure energy in the event of an attack. And, if there’s a flood, City Hall can easily convent into a 2,000,000-capacity ark.

Okay, really, the city is not prepared, officially at least. The biggest concern is that the chief evacuation directives are supposed to come from the Deputy Mayor of Transportation, which the city (naturally) hasn’t had since 1999.

Before you say “special election,” think about this: Has anything in this city ever gotten done by the person who’s supposed to do it? Heck, I bet John Street has to mop his own floors. Without the Deputy Mayor of Transportation, there will be no local authorities around to screw things up!

The traffic can just zoom down I-76 and into the safe land of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Nothing to worry about. Phew.

Report: City Emergency Plans Seriously Flawed [CBS 3]