V.P. Visits Check-Printing Place

Yes, we now have video evidence of Dick Cheney actually visiting a place that prints economic stimulus checks in order to show how great the economic stimulus checks are. Fox 29’s Bruce Gordon then does some fancy math to show that the price of everything has gone up since the start of the year, and so our stimulus checks aren’t really all that hot overall.

Redlasso video after the jump. And yes, this includes a semi-gratuitous Kerri-Lee Halkett intro. After she wrote this, every video from now on will feature KLH.

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Dick Cheney In Town!

Hey, Dick Cheney was in town today, talking to people about how the economy isn’t all that bad, really. Look at the people Cheney talked to who have been helped by the economic stimulus!

Cheney delivered a 10-minute speech Thursday to about 100 workers at a Northeast Philadelphia facility that prints the economic stimulus checks.

My stimulus arrived via direct deposit, so I guess I didn’t do much for the economy.

Vice President Cheney In Town [AP/NBC 10]

CNN Has Nothing To Report On

The Internet was abuzz yesterday over the photo at right (click to enlarge), which shows a naked woman in Dick Cheney’s sunglasses! Well, okay, it doesn’t, it’s clearly a fishing rod, and everyone was sorta just joking around about it. (The post I first saw it on even made that point.)

But no matter! This morning CNN picked up the story and ran with it, saying the blogosphere was abuzz over the photo — and even running a poll about it! The poll, incidentally, was tied; the anchors than proceeded to read viewers’ bad jokes on the air. Video after the jump.

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A Vote For Nutter Is A Vote Against, Uh, Bush?

Above, the new ad for Michael Nutter, who despite a nearly 75 percent lead in the polls feels he should run some ads. And how to get lethargic Philadelphians out to the polls on Tuesday? Tell ‘em if they stay home, the terrorists (or at least Bush and Cheney) win!

Excellent graphics on the night to day transition. I wonder what Nutter’s stance is on Daylight Saving Time.

Only One Day Until All Of This Is Over

Only one day until the election. Which means we only have to suffer through one more day of stupid ads, signs all over the city and robot phone calls to our landlines. (Some of us only have cell phones. Ha!)

That’s not to say that tomorrow will be a cakewalk:

Okay, only one day until we’ll all spend our day scared of a stray shot from Deadeye Dick whizzing by our heads. But after that, freedom!

Cheney Going Hunting On Election Day [NBC 10]

Gentlemen, Begin Your Puppet-Making: Cheney Hits Town Monday

Everyone’s favorite cyborg-in-vice-chief, Dick Cheney, will be in Center City Monday for a World Affairs Council of Philadelphia luncheon honoring Bernard Lewis. The event’s going to be at the Bellevue at Broad and Walnut.

Lewis, you may know is a professor of Near Eastern Studies at Princeton, and is a respected scholar in his field. He does share President Bush’s wish for secular, Western-style democracies in the Middle East. He has been criticized of being orientalist; i.e. taking a negative view of those not like the West. And his idea of a Western-style democracy in the Middle East isn’t quite working out everywhere now, is it? (And he delivered lectures to Cheney before the war.)

Anyway, Cheney’s getting in at the airport at 11, speaking at 12:10 at the Bellevue and leaving at 12:50. Say what you want about Dick Cheney and his handlers, but that’s running a pretty tight ship, y’know? Assumedly, there will be “protest areas” across the street from the ‘vue like there were when Bush spoke there back in December.

It’ll be a little warmer this time, so let’s get some good chants and signs going — it makes for good TV and easy blog entries for alt-weekly writers. Plus, it’s Dick Cheney, who has an approval rating lower than church. Who doesn’t like bashin’ that dude?

Bernard Lewis Revisited [Washington Monthly]
Dec. 15, 2005: Stop the war! Zzzzzz….

The cover-up is it was actually John Chaney

Oh. It’s not a conspiracy. It’s only a cover-up! Good to know.

Metro Philly

Blogicized: The boys of winter

• It begins: Down in Clearwater, Phillies pitchers and catchers report. Geeze, wasn’t I just pining the end of baseball season the other day? And how long until the Phillies are out of contention this year? [The Good Phight]

• It’s been 60 years since some ultrabright engineers at 34th and Walnut streets invented the effing computer, which, without it, would leave the American public with much, much less porn than we have now. So, to the people who made it happen: We all thank you. [Computer World via BoingBoing]

• Nothing brings dog-loving bloggers out like 337 counts of animal cruelty to cute wittle puppies. Hrumph. [Rittenhouse Review]

• Will Bunch is now guessing what medications Dick Cheney takes. Silly Will. Everyone knows Cheneybot runs on pure oil. [Attytood]

‘Northeast Times’ tries stand-up

Just when you thought that you had heard every last one-liner about the Dick Cheney hunting incident, that you couldn’t possibly hear anything new about the situation, that you should be much more interested in Cheney saying he can do whatever he damn wants, thank you very much, comes the strangest editorial ever written, courtesy of the Northeast Times:

Dick Cheney is basically a decent man, a guy who loves his wife, daughters and country, but the man described by many as one of the most influential vice presidents in modern history is in a heap of trouble, and we’re not just talking about his possible involvement in the CIA leak case.

In fact, what Mr. Cheney did in Texas on Saturday — accidentally shooting one of his two-legged friends during a hunting trip — is worse than what Vice President Spiro Agnew did in 1973 (tax evasion), and it’s almost as bizarre as what Vice President Aaron Burr did in 1804 (killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel).

Had Mr. Cheney been more careful on the quail hunting trip (and he should have purchased the required stamp for his hunting license; he’s an oilman, he can afford the seven bucks), his pal Harry Whittington would not have been shot and critically injured.

Now, though, if President Bush wants to dispense with loyalty and cut his losses by picking a less controversial vice president, he should look no further than his secretary of state. Condoleezza Rice would be an excellent choice, and as veep she would be heir apparent for the Republican presidential nomination in 2008.

But if Mr. Bush wants to tap a less conventional person as his heartbeat away from the presidency, we offer these three contenders, for starters.

• Charlton Heston: The once-magnificent actor and ex-NRA president no longer has all his marbles. He’s perfect for the job.

• Britney Spears: The pop singer who drives with her baby on her lap is obviously missing a few marbles. She’s also fit to fill Mr. Cheney’s shoes.

• Joan Krajewski: The soon-to-be retired Philadelphia city councilwoman sure knows how to shoot from the hip.

Meanwhile, we the people should be grateful that Mr. Cheney is the stealth vice president. As long as he continues to run the country from his Undisclosed Location, America is safe. Well, almost.

See? It’s funny because Charlton Heston has Alzheimer’s disease.

Cheney says he has power to declassify information [AP via CNN.com]
Oh, shoot! [Northeast Times]