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Artsy Sketch Of Alleged Carjacker

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Feast your eyes on the sketch of an alleged attempted carjacker in Ridley! Although this police sketch looks more like a person than most, it also appears to have been drawn in the style a co-worker identified as “high school art class.”

And look at it! It’s totally an art-class sketch, perhaps displayed in the library along with portraits of other high school janitors. Also this man is wearing the smallest baseball cap in the world. And look at that cap-to-brim size ratio! If you do see this small-headed man on the street, please contact Ridley Township Detectives.

Ridley cops investigating an attempted carjacking [Delco Times]

The Final (Hopefully) Saga Of Ozzy The Dog

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Ozzy, the heroic German shepherd who attacked two people, had his execution overturned yesterday and was re-sentenced to life in prison. If only we cared this much about people being given the death penalty!

As you may remember, Ozzy was sentenced to death for attacking two people, but after media attention was granted a stay of execution by the governor or something. But then an auctioneer in Delco saw the story and said, “Hey, maybe he could guard the prison!” And guard the prison he will, as he’ll patrol the fenced-in areas between the old and new prisons at Delaware County Prison.

But who’s the real hero here? Who else: The Daily News.

After the appeals hearing, [Kelley] Allard, who owned Ozzy since he was a pup, handed a “We Love Ozzy” T-shirt to her lawyer.

She thanked the Daily News for bringing Ozzy’s story to the public’s attention and Delaware County auctioneer George Wilson for reading that story and suggesting the prison K9 alternative sentencing.

Eh, whatever. Good for Ozzy. Now he can bite prisoners, and as we all know, in this country we don’t give a lick what happens to people once they’re in jail!

Ozzy’s off to Delaware County [Daily News]

DCCC Threatening Emailer Is — Surprise! — An Idiot

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As you’ve probably heard, Delaware County Community College has been closed for the past several days due to a threatening email received by teachers and staff members.

All five campuses (campi?) will reopen today with extra security, even though police have not found the source of these emails. The full text of the email was released yesterday. It was signed by “J Feathers,” which means it was sent by a bird or something. Here’s the email via CBS 3. No, it wasn’t sent by Alycia Lane. Everything below is [sic], of course:

jus so u kno i’m sick of everything, i can’t stand my life anymore. i’m sick of ppl stressing me out at that school, so i’m jus letting u know in case that i’m going to get 2 weapons from a friend n i’m goin to kill everyone at this damn school. i’m so frustrated, jus so anyone wants to kno when this coming Monday or tuesday. take my notice seriously, cause i’m giving 1 Chance of survival. It wilbe done at exton and downingtown camp.”

Yeesh. I’m glad the police investigated this email, but shouldn’t someone be investigating Delco Community College’s English department as well?

Security Increased As Classes Resume At DCCC [CBS 3]

And Here’s Some More Free Advertising

04190625tolife.jpg Here’s how the story goes: Video game company creates awful, awful video game. Not in content, but in playability, fun, etc. It falls by the wayside and is forgotten… unless it has some sort of controversy attached!

And such is the case with 25 to Life. In the game, a sort of Grand Theft Auto clone — only really, really bad — you can play as either a cop or a “gangsta,” with lots of violence, swearing and predictable results. It got an average rating of about 40 percent from reviewers. Needless to say, it’s bad.

But it came out in January. It’s pretty much forgotten by now. Until the DA of Delaware County suddenly decides to organize a boycott of it!

Yes, he’s a little behind — but here’s where it gets really old. He’s asking people to sign a petition in protest of the game. The petition, organized by the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, is to be presented to a hearing in Congress on video game violence (sigh).

Er, sorry, was to be presented, since the hearing was March 29. So, basically, signing the petition now does nothing — except that this KYW 1060 news report gave the game some free advertising.

Look for Delco DA Mike Green to call for a boycott Ice-T’s “Cop Killer” any day now.

Law Enforcement Officials Urging Boycott of “25 To Life” Video Game [KYW 1060]
25 to Life [GameRankings.com]
25 to Life Petition [NLEOMF]

Blogicized: God bless the Internet

• Hmm. If you get rid of 75 staffers and apparently have a commitment to annoying, boring writing, you might come up with an annoying, boring, incorrect editorial. But think of the profit margins! [Suburban Guerilla]

• In the grand tradition of “All Your Base” and “Bubb Rubb” comes the newest Internet fad, remixing subway maps with anagrams. How else would we have known that “Fairmount” can be rearrange to spell “I Mourn Fat”? [Philebrity]

• The number and percentage of blacks at Temple has gone down since 1999. Is this a problem? Eh, I dunno. But God help Holy Family if this guy ever finds out the stats on its female-to-male ratio. (It’s 3-to-1. Why I didn’t go to Holy Family, I’ll never know.) [Marc Stier at Large]

• Who would possibly be enough of a loser to hack some blog in Delco? [I Live In Delaware County]

• The Art Museum has a new website. And it appears to be Rocky VI free. But just wait. [JMG Artblog]

Nothing beats the real thing

021606coke.jpg Doesn’t it just beat all when your moms won’t let you into the house and so you sleep at a friend’s place, right near her one-year-old baby’s crib, and since you’re down, you do few lines, then hide the rest of it in the baby’s crib, and so the next morning you forget about the coke because you’re so out of it, and then the cops come and pick you up because the baby gnawed into one of the bags of coke and had it all over her face? Doesn’t that just suck?

Not a typical story for you? Hmm, me neither. I bet this guy in Delco feels really salty right now, then:

Authorities say the mother reported that when she found the child, the child had a white powder over her face and she was crying. The mother, according to authorities, went back into the area of the baby’s crib and found several packets of what she suspected was crack cocaine. [...] Police have charged a neighbor with leaving the cocaine within the child’s reach.

He had slept at the home of the baby’s family because when his mother did not let him into her home, the baby’s mother let him come inside to sleep.

Police think the neighbor hid the cocaine in or near the crib and then forgot about it when he left in the morning.

The cops haven’t released the suspect’s name, but according to sources, it’s not Clark DeLeon.

Police: Child Finds Cocaine Stash [6 ABC]
Monday: Good ol’ days on the Philadelphia ski team