Allentown Pizza Shop Butchers Deer (Mistakenly)

Ahh, late fall in Pennsylvania. Cold but beautiful weather. Not-quite-bare trees. Butchering deer carcasses in pizzerias.

Yes, a pizzeria in Allentown nearly got in trouble after a city health inspector saw a deer being butchered in the shop’s kitchen. Allentown spokesman Michael Moore (ha, ha) said a customer reported seeing the doe in the pizzeria’s kitchen.

The Morning Call reports that “the pizza shop’s manager said it was a huge misunderstanding.” Tell me about it! (Rimshot.)

Manager John Okumus said he shot several deer on the second day of hunting season, then wrapped a doe and left it in the back of the pizza shop for a friend to pick up. Like you do.

Apparently, one of the cooks started butchering the deer. Just all a big misunderstanding. I really enjoy Okumus’ quote, though:

“The health department did their job, a good job,” said Okumus, who was back at work today. “There are bad people out there. But, the deer was not to sell.”

There are bad people who… what? Want to sell deer pizza? How dare they hunt and then sell the food to others!

For those wondering what, exactly, was in violation of the law here, “according to the food facility inspection report, only food from an approved source is permitted in a food establishment.” You may hunt and kill as many deer as you possibly can, but by God you better not attempt to bring them into a restaurant kitchen.

Update: On a side note, do not feed pizza to deer (via Slice comments).

City says pizzeria butchered deer; manager claims misunderstanding [The Morning Call]
Photo used under a Creative Commons license

Man Wrestles Deer In Hair Salon

Philly Edge’s Joe Student passed along a tale of some “breaking news” in Quakertown: A man wrestling with a deer.

Randy Goepfert, 36, had just finished paying for his haircut at Holiday Hair in Quakertown Plaza off Route 309 when he heard a loud thump. He turned around and saw that a buck with four to six inch antlers had rammed against the salon’s glass window. A second later the deer burst through the glass door within feet of two young children, sending employees and the handful of customers shrieking.

“I was like, ‘Oh my God!,’ ” said 9-year-old William Frei of Haycock, who was playing a hand-held video game in a waiting area when the deer rammed through the door within a yard of him. “Me and my mom jumped on our chairs.”

As the deer slid and stamped about, knocking shampoo and mouse bottles from a display rack, Goepfert, a sturdily-built 5-foot-10, tackled the animal and gripped it in a headlock. He wrestled with the animal for about two minutes, but the deer eventually kicked him hard in the back and broke free.

Hey, instead of just saying, “Won’t someone think of the children,” Goepfert went out there and protected the children. By putting a deer in a headlock. “I didn’t get one during hunting season,” Goepfert said. “And then here’s one today.” Indeed. Somebody give that man a medal.

BREAKING: Patron protects children as deer barrels into Quakertown hair salon [The Intelligencer]

Human Allies Of Ducks, Deer Come Out In, Uh, Force

It’s been a while since I’ve though about foy grass, the goose/duck liver delicacy that I have absolutely no desire to ever eat but also have no desire to ever prevent someone from eating it. But now! After being able to ignore a duck protest-related coffee throwing, I cannot keep my eyes away any longer. Hugs for Puppies and Professionals Against Foie Gras are hosting a “No Foie Gras Gala” at the Ethical Society on Rittenhouse this Saturday.

But wait, there’s more! Not only will there be a foy grass-free party near Rittenhouse, but there will be protesters outside promoting pro-foie gras ideals at the same time. London Grill co-owner Terry McNally is spearheading the “correct information” movement and a French documentary team will be in Philly to film the highly hilarious shenanigans.

Also exciting: Yesterday, a total of six protesters showed up at a population-controlling deer hunt at Tyler State Park in Bucks County. The sign the paper reported: “What’s next, Rudolph?” Rudolph? Haven’t these people ever seen a movie. Clearly, the deer that’s next is Bambi’s mother. Geeze.

Pa. Deer Hunting Season Off To Fantastic Start

Pennsylvania deer hunting season (with a rifle) began yesterday, and it’s already claimed the life of one and the foot of another. Not deer, mind you, but hunters.

Sadly, a 56-year-old man from Meyersville — I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s on the Western side of the state — died after a 20-foot fall from a tree stand. More hilariously, a hunter in Westmoreland County shot himself in the foot while hunting.

Philadelphia continues to not be able to make its own gun laws because men like these need to purchase more than one handgun a month. What’d that state rep call ‘em? Rednecks or crackers or something?

Hunter Killed In Fall; Another Shoots Own Foot [WGAL]

Darryl Hall Joins Brave Fight Against Annoying Animals

Hey, it appears Darryl Hall hates animals as well. He’s not all about the horse hatred; no, he’s taking on animals that annoy cars.

Dan Gross reports (and somebody on the website forgot to close a bold tag as of 1:45):

Temple grad Daryl Hall opened up to Howard Stern yesterday about his hatred for deer and rabbits, which he says are nothing more than carriers of disease. Hall, who has Lyme disease, told Stern on his Sirius Satellite Radio show that “they should get rid of all of the f—ing deer,” who he said are all full of ticks that carry Lyme disease.

Ooh, spiders. I don’t like spiders. Let’s get rid of them, too. I kinda don’t like skunks, either.

Hey, this is fun. And we should have more red pandas! Are we just allowed to propose killing entire species of animals? Well, I know we’re allowed to do it, but do you think it can become, like, my full-time job?

On a side note, Darryl Hall calling for the extinction of deer rates lower than Jessica Borg’s purse being stolen? Really?

Dan Gross | Jessica Borg’s purse pilfered [Daily News]

Hunters Kill Bambi, Deformed Deer

The annual thin-the-herd deer hunt was held in Bucks County on Tuesday, and it went on with the usual hunters-vs.-protesters vibe, although the crowd of protesters has thinned in recent years. Even the court challenges against the annual Tyler State Park event have ceased.

But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some amazing sentences and quotes in Ben Finley’s story from the Doylestown Intelligencer. Let’s list some, shall we?

• “Don’t leave piles of (deer) guts out,” a Pennsylvania Gaming Commission official had told them. “If there are piles of guts out on the trails, people are going to have opposition to this hunt.”
• Signs demanded a stop to “killing Bambi.”
• [Bert] Brelsford said he’s seen some abnormal-looking deer at Tyler. He mentioned deer that have been hit by cars and survived. They have small, squished faces instead of long faces. Their antlers have grown oddly or only grow on one side of their head, he said.
• “The deer don’t observe political boundaries,” [the park manager] said.
• As far as the protesters go, [John] Cox said, “They have a right to their opinion. A vegetarian is a vegetarian. A Protestant is a Protestant. A Catholic is a Catholic. I’m not going to argue with them.”

You know, John Cox may be the wisest person quoted in any article this year.

Herd of protesters shrinks at deer hunt [Intelligencer]

On The First Day Of Hunting Season, The Hunter Becomes The Hunted

Yesterday was the first day of hunting season in Pennsylvania, which means schoolchildren all across the state (except for the Philadelphia area) had off to go hunt bucks or whatever. (This is probably how that deer got stuck in the warehouse ended up in there; he was trying to run away from being killed.)

Well, yesterday wasn’t all rainbows and dead deer. It turns out that some people didn’t want to hunt deer themselves and instead robbed a man of his deer.

Yes, three men walked up to Meadville’s Robert Hanna — still on his tree stand after bagging a deer Monday afternoon — when three men with rifles came up to him and attacked him for his deer carcass.

“I’m really, really upset about the whole ordeal,” Hanna said. “(It’s) over a dumb deer. If they wanted it so bad I would have said, ‘Take it.’” Police don’t have any suspects, but my hunch is it’s a bunch of lazy, lazy hunters.

Armed Thieves Steal Deer from Penna. Hunter [KYW 1060]
Earlier today: Wayward Deer Causes Havoc In Western Pa.

Wayward Deer Causes Havoc In Western Pa.

There is a lot going on in Western Pennsylvania nowadays. While they don’t have the excitement of a rising murder rate or a brand new public toilet, it’s not like there’s nothing going on!

For example, a family in Pittsburgh had its nativity scene stolen. And also in our fair neighbor to the west, a doggy jumped off a bridge and survived.

And then there’s the tale of the deer who couldn’t get out of the warehouse.

Note: This video apparently also features a cameo from Phillies relief pitcher Rick White.

Nativity Scene Stolen While Couple Decorates [WTAE-TV]
Dog Leaps Off Bridge, Lives [WTAE=TV]
Exclusive Video: Deer Runs Through Warehouse [WTAE-TV]

But did the motorist get a ticket?

This accident in Penndel is probably my favorite Bucks County Courier Times police log entry ever:

Wed, no time given, Penndel police officer struck a deer while following motorist for traffic violation on I-95, substantial damage to vehicle, no reported injuries to officer.

As a Pennsylvania resident, the Penndel police officer can legally claim the deer’s dead body. So at least he’s got that going for him.

Public safety log 12.16.05 [BCCT]
Oct. 28: Deerly beloved (if you’re a Pa. resident)