Big News In New Jersey!

We here in America don’t really want to kill people. Even a recent poll in New Jersey showed the state’s voters wanted the option for people to die for their crimes, yet would rather have them sentenced to life in prison without parole. But we really seem to like to be able to put people to death in theory, in case somebody comes along we really would rather see dead.

Against this backdrop comes New Jersey’s decision to abolish the death penalty. Gov. Jon Corzine is expected to sign a bill next week making the Dirty Jerz the first state to get rid of the death penalty since it was re-instated by the Supreme Court in 1976.

Ahh, yes, but there is even bigger news in Jersey. Dick Clark memorabilia is being auctioned off in Audubon!

“There are proclamations from every mayor from Rizzo to Rendell,” said Brian Murphy of Haddonfield, a memorabilia broker. “They look like the Declaration of Independence. They’re on parchment.”

Actually, didn’t Dick Clark sign the Declaration of Independence?

A Good Day For Snitchin’

Yesterday, police shot and caught the main suspect in the murder of poliec officer Gary Skerski, the yellow-eyed man seen in this sketch pretty much since Skerski’s killing last week. Members of his family apparently turned him in — police didn’t even have a suspect two days ago.

His name is Solomon Montgomery, he’s only 23, and as you may have guessed, he seems like a pretty horrible person. The police haven’t said he’s officially a suspect, but when all the sources say he’s a prime suspect and Sylvester Johnson suddenly comes back to hold a press conference, well, come on, our local media’s smarter than that, guys.

This is good news for snitchin’, the police, the public’s sense of justice and the City Paper’s Brian Hickey, who will be personally executing Montgomery next week.

And, yes, a good day for Skerski’s family, as well, as for his friends:

“Oh, my God, I like did cartwheels in the halls at work!” [Stacey Holmes] said. “I hope he [Montgomery] rots in hell.”

Thanks, for that “[Montgomery],” Daily News. I was wondering who she was talking about.

COP of the WEEK [Daily News]
Lethal Rejection [City Paper]