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Greatest Show Ever Casting In Philadelphia

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Are you an idiot? If so, you might enjoy watching Howie Mandel direct women to open briefcases for an hour. And so you might want to try out for Deal or No Deal!

Auditions are from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. at the Convention Center tomorrow. Bring your cyanide pills.

Audition For ‘Deal Or No Deal’ In Philadelphia [NBC 10]

For New Jersey, It’s ‘No Deal’

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As the New Jersey shutdown crisis intensifies, one important group of New Jersey-ites is feeling the pain: gamblers.

According to the Inquirer, gamblers — and you may want to hold on to your hat here — are angry that they can’t gamble.

Shocking, eh? Tourists are so upset some of them are planning to drive all the way up to Foxwoods in Connecticut in order to toss their money away. Some, though, are staying, because of the possible bonus they’d miss if the legislature resolved the budget crisis:

Diane and Dan Schwarzkopf had drive more than seven hours from Buffalo, N.Y., indulged in a little optimism. “We just can’t believe that they’ve actually closed a casino,” he said. “And we’re just going to sit here and wait and see if it reopens.”

They were somewhat aggravated, however, because she’d taken a day off from work, and now couldn’t get to use a Deal or No Deal coupon that was good only today for a small stake of chips.

You hear that, Corzine? You hear that, Senate? There’s a Deal or No Deal bonus that’s only available day, and you’ve ruined it! For shaaaaaaaame.

What gamblers are saying about the shutdown [Inquirer]
Earlier today: A Tale Told By An Idiot, Or Possibly An Insane Person