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Darrell Clarke: Hate Crime Victim

It’s ridiculous that some racist moron did this, particularly to a Philadelphia City Councilman.

Clarke said he walked outside his house this morning and found Nazi symbols and the letters “KKK” spray-painted on his car, a vehicle belonging to a relative of one of his staffers and another local resident’s car. Crime Scene Unit investigators are currently dusting his car for prints while detectives try to determine what motivated the incident.

But wait: what was one of his staffer’s cars doing there this morning? Which staffer was it? Clarke is single, by his own admission, so is he schtooping one of his staffers? I mean, if the staffer’s car was there long enough to get vandalized over night, it’s safe to assume there’s a reason, right?

Hmm…. some Philly journo should look into this. Dan Gross? You reading?

Councilman Clarke target of hate crime [Philly Confidential]

City Council To Regulate Buses, Dentists

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The Inquirer’s Heard in the Hall blog reports on the lame duck City Council session that begins today. Any bills not passed during the three-week session will have to be introduced when the new council is sworn in next year, which is pretty much the same group of people anyway.

Still, it’s a pain to get legislation introduced or something, so City Council is rushing to get a whole boatload of bills passed. Blondell Reynolds Brown wants to pass a bill “that would require dentists to provide some degree of disclosure about the mercury contained in fillings.” Brown also wants to ban kids from fundraising in the street, which means the police are going to get to arrest little kids or something. Hilarious! Darrell Clarke wants to make it illegal to burn a cross or hang a noose.

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Darrell Clarke Hates Spraypaint, Looking At Men

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Hey, so remember that Travel + Leisure story which ranked Philadelphia last in attractiveness in the 25 cities it surveyed readers on? Yeah, well asked a bunch of politicians and random people what they thought, and the results are both predictably boring and over-the-top.

But the response by spraypaint-hatin’ City Councilman Darrell Clarke is a bit, uhm, weird. To note, Miami ranked first on the list of 25 cities surveyed in attractiveness.

“They’ve got to be kidding!” said Councilman Darrell Clarke. “South Beach? How do we compete with that? I mean, give me a break!”

Upon further review, he said, “I’m a single guy so I can say, in all honesty, that while I don’t traditionally look at men to determine how attractive they are, I can tell you that we have the most attractive women of any city.”

Hear that, constituents: Darrell Clarke is not gay! His Kinsey score is like negative fifteen thousand. He doesn’t even know what any other men in this city look like. In fact, he’s not even sure if there are other men in this city!

Hey! We’re not just fat - we’re ugly, too [Daily News]
Yesterday: Darrell Clarke Wants To Track What You Buy
Tuesday: Now You Have Even Less Of An Excuse To Be Dateless

Darrell Clarke Wants To Track What You Buy

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Hey, know what’d be fun? Having your driver’s license scanned every time you want to purchase cigarettes and beer! That sounds like a gay old time, honestly. Well, if City Councilman Darrell Clarke has his way, that’s what you’ll have to do in Philadelphia! Yes, Clarke wants to track purchases of every can of beer or carton of smokes sold with in city limits.

However, faster than you can say “the lobbying arms of the tobacco and alcohol industries would shut that down in a second” — so, actually, not really all that fast — the plan is kinda dead, since it would require intervention at the state level. But since he can’t pass a law tracking how much we smoke and drink, Clarke came up with a better idea: Tracking purchases of spray paint!

Apparently, graffiti is a out of control here in Philadelphia. Need proof? “Graffiti is out of control in the City of Philadelphia,” said Darrell Clarke. And, so, Clarke has introduced a bill requiring the scan of a driver’s license for anybody purchasing spraypaint, since he says the stores are selling to minors, who are then tagging City Hall and the Comcast Center.

“Unless that information is inserted through the scanner into the register, the product will not register, so therefore there cannot be a transaction,” he told KYW 1060. The problem, of course, is that most of the graffiti done in this city is done by adults. Clarke might just as well have introduced a bill telling kids to get off his lawn.

I can’t wait ’til the regulation of adhesive paper passes, in order to combat El Toro and Bob Will Reign and any of the other cute characters who pop up on the backs of stop signs.

Councilman Wants Stricter Controls on Spray Paint Purchases [KYW 1060]
Attn. City Council: Most Graf Nerds Are Grown Ass Men [Philebrity]

T-Minus 1 Day ‘Til Street Doesn’t Sign Smoking Ban

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Oh, yes, folks. It is only one day until John Street does not sign the smoking ban, and things are starting to heat up in City Council as well. Michael Currie Schaffer’s story in today’s Inquirer is a great, depressing look at how politics works in this country.

Michael Nutter even comes out to ask the simple question of why does his resignation from council mean the bill should be vetoed? Councilman Darrell Clarke says, well, he wouldn’t have voted for it if he knew Nutter was going to resign to run for mayor. He doesn’t say why, of course, but take a few guesses.

Street is still against smoking in outdoor cafes, probably the only sensible exemption to a smoking ban if one should be passed. And he says he still hasn’t decided if he’s going to veto the bill, but he does say there will be a ban by the end of his administration.

Councilman Brian O’Neill, who voted against the bill, essentially declares himself sick of it all and says he hopes the mayor signs the bill:

“If he vetoes it, no matter how they try to spin it, he’s sticking it to Nutter,” Councilman Brian J. O’Neill said.

Many members - including some who voted against Nutter’s bill last spring - hoped it wouldn’t come to that. “I hope he signs it,” said O’Neill, who voted against Nutter’s bill because of the exemptions, which he said unfairly helped some businesses.

“I didn’t like the deal that was being made. But I think it’ll be difficult to put nine votes together again… . You’re at the one-yard line here.”

Indeed! There’s, really, only one way to save the smoking ban now: Right before Street goes to veto the bill (and do a celebratory crotch-chop) afterward, Michael Nutter’s music plays. The mayor hopeful dashes in, hits Street in the head with a steel chair and signs the bill himself.

Yeah, that’d do.

Smoking ban rears its head again [Inquirer]
Archives: Smoking Ban