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There Is Nothing To Do In Tampa

Here’s a clip from a recent episode of Ellen, which is apparently a daytime version of Dancing with the Stars (only without any celebrities). The show set up a camera on a tripod outside of Topicana Field, allowing Ellen to make a horrible joke about orange juice. (Ha, ha, I hope she goes to Citizens Bank Park next to… make a withdrawal!)

Then it’s like a minute of people dancing “hilariously” with that horrible Pussycat Dolls song in the background and a laugh track strength not seen since the early days of Married with Children. And people watch this show, huh? Hmm.

Bob Brady Hoping To Capture Crucial Preteen Girl From 1999 Vote By Doing The N*Sync ‘Bye Bye Bye’ Dance

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Also, he has ghost orbs or something on his side.

[Photo via Philadelphia Carpenters Union]

‘Good Day’ Resumes Dancing, Sans Mascots

Sorry, guys, as much as I love that in-depth report and love TV anchors dancing, it’s really just not the same without mascots.

Archives: Mascot Monday

It’s Not Mascot Dancing, But It’ll Have To Do

Are any of you surprised these dancers are holding a parade in Mayfair this weekend?

Leftovers: Whale Watching

• A whale has washed up on the shores of Wildwood Crest, leaving the town’s current Autumn population of 15 shocked. [NBC 10]

• The dance-off for jobs at the Philly Park casino continues, with the applicants now comparing it to American Idol. This idea’s a little wacky, but I’m all for replacing getting signatures with dancing to “YMCA” as a way to get on the ballot. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Be sure to check out the New York Post’s top 10 reasons why TO would want to kill himself list! It has all the hilarity of a root canal performed without novocaine by a labrador retriever who’s also urinating on you. [Gawker]

• For you statheads (ok, for me personally), here’s a listing of the Eagles’ ranking in alternate football statistics from Football Outsiders. [Scrapple]

From Pole To Pole

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And away we go:

pwddmac: so, that new teresa masterson thing, i think we should just leave it alone this time. i don’t want to do TM overkill.

anonymous reader: no! we can’t not talk about her pole dancing.
reader: although for some reason, i feel almost bad when we make fun of her now
reader: she does seem reasonably cool
pwddmac: i agree. but it’s just a shtick. i mean, we’re not all that mean, are we?
reader: i guess we’re just more detached. i’ve never thought of her reading this before.
pwddmac: hmm. so do you want to let it go?
reader: uh, no. i’m just going to feel bad about it afterward.
reader: let’s play a game called - can you diagram the following sentence:
reader: “But in this Britney Spears culture, where women feel it necessary to show it all, it seems like we’re missing the good stuff when everyone is showing off all of their stuff.”
pwddmac: okay.

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pwddmac: i gave up after that
pwddmac: did you know there’s a pole in big boi’s bedroom?
pwddmac: i saw it on cribs. t.o. also has a room called the “chocolate room” in his atlanta house where you have to take your shoes off to enter.
reader: oh god, she should go interview t.o. that would be amazing.
reader: or at least drew
pwddmac: “Next question!”
pwddmac: “Drew, do you think that, in this Britney Spears culture, where women feel it necessary to show it all, it seems like we’re missing the good stuff when everyone is showing off all of their stuff?”
reader: the next “crazy” thing she does for the “blog” should be a “date” with john ogden, i think
pwddmac: or she can get help him do things to get evicted

Blog: Beyond The Pole [NBC 10]
Archives: Teresa Masterson

B.A. In Phanatic Dancing

It’s late August, and the Philadelphia Phillies are somehow still alive in the Wild Card race. This can only be due in part to the Phanatic Dance’s new sponsor:

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Because, really, there’s no better time to look for a college to go to than during the Phanatic Dance.

Wild Card Standings [MLB.com]

‘Good Day’ Dancing Just Keeps On Going

Last week: The Phillie Phanatic. (Happy birthday, big buddy!) And today: The Robbins Diamonds guy.

This one actually includes some actual, uh, pretty good dancing. The Robbins guy can really shake his money maker, and Jen Fred busts a movie today as well. Even the security director seems more into it today.

Also, this sketch (skit? news segment? hard-hitting investigative report?) seems to keep getting longer and longer. Pretty soon it’s going to take up about a full hour. I don’t think I could be prouder.

Archives: Good Day Philadelphia

Blogicized: Water, Water Everywhere

• Turns out that waterless urinals in a top-secret local building that may or may not be in University City North Philly haven’t killed anyone. And they won the building an award. But, y’know, we gotta put useless pipes in the Comcast Center. In case. [Changing Skyline]

• Sam Alito will be here on July 4 to celebrate freedom. Word on the street is they’ll be using the Rick Santorum impersonator to impersonate Sam Alito, too. [All Spin Zone]

• We also hear that JGT will be celebrating the end of Body Worlds by hosting a quizzo at the Planetarium and then shedding his skin and getting in some weird pose. [Johnny Goodtimes]

• Liz Spikol introduces us to the Medication Debate Shuffle, which will soon be tearing up the clubs. [The Trouble With Spikol]

Let’s Hear It For The Boy

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Eagles linebacker Dhani Jones has been arrested for dancing.

No, really.

Jones was dancing in the street outside of a South Beach night club, was asked to stop dancing in said street — apparently, traffic was blocked, though I’m sure it wasn’t just our favorite bow-tie clad linebacker — and was then arrested, the Associated Press reports.

In the world of athlete run-ins with the law, this might be the most innocuous one of all time. No drugs, no weapons, no fight, Dhani just had ants in his pants and couldn’t stop dancin’!

Also, uhm, it’s a South Beach night club? You should get arrested if you’re not dancing, in the street or no.

You know what? Fight the power, Dhani! Those small-town cops can’t ban dancing for forever. Trust me: You have the music on your side!

Jones arrested for dancing in street [AP/SI.com]
Footloose [IMDB]
Photo via Dhani Jones’ Official Website