Curt Weldon Now Confirmed Liar, Too

One of the 2006 Philadelphia Will Do People of the Year, ex-U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon, is already making news in 2007. Yesterday, the House Ethics committee released a statement saying Weldon agreed to repay $23K from a lobbying trip, the Daily News‘ Bob Warner writes.

The repayment, no doubt part of a scheme by Nancy Pelosi, Jane Fonda and FDR, didn’t say where Weldon went, who paid for it or really any details that might prove of interest to anyone. But it does clear up that Curt Weldon was lying — the Daily News says “misleading” — when he said he had been investigated and cleared by the House ethics committee before the election.

It probably, though, has something to do with his daughter, as the trip took place in Jan. 2003 and — surprise! — two of his three trips that month were to firms that later became clients of her and Weldon buddy Charlie Sexton’s consulting firm.

Surely this is all a conspiracy, though.

Weldon, in reversal, to repay $23G [Daily News]
Archives: Curt Weldon

PWD People Of The Year: Curt Weldon

Coming into this year, Curt Weldon was a congressman with almost 20 years of service in the House. Exiting this year, Curt Weldon is a lame duck congressman with almost 20 years of service in the House, but none of them funnier than this one.

How was this year so funny? Well, let’s recap: Since 9/11, Curt Weldon had been hawking his theory that the U.S. government blew it. Which is true, obviously, but Weldon’s theory involved secret sources that talked only to him, in addition to a secret program called “Able Danger.” When his theory began to unravel in the early months of this year, Weldon decided to drop another bombshell: Osama Bin Laden is dead in Iran.

Despite this rumormongering, Weldon was still seen as a shoo-in for election. But then in April, he criticized his opponent, Joe Sestak, for the hospital choice he made for his daughter who had a brain tumor.

As election day neared, old stories resurfaced — his attendance at a coronation of Rev. Moon as the world’s savior, the time he went to Libya and to meet Muammar al-Gaddafi, how he somehow combined the two incidents, etc. — but Weldon began to refute any charges against him with nonsense words.

Then, FBI agents raided several homes/offices of his daughter, his daughter’s associates and Weldon’s political buddy, causing Weldon to respond by telling fellow POTY winner Stephen Morse about all the people against him.

Weldon ended up blaming every single person in the Western World for this raid, and — despite cheers of “Curt! Curt! Curt!” — he lost the election to Joe Sestak. He didn’t even give a totally awesome concession speech (something Rick Santorum blew, too).

What’s next for Curt? Well, currently, he’s telling conservative newspapers the CIA is out-of-control and helping Democrats. (With, y’know, the democrat in the executive office and all. Er.) 2006 was a good year for Curt Weldon funny, could he bounce back in 2007? Let’s hope so.

Philadelphia Will Do People of the Year | The List So Far
Archives: Curt Weldon

Leftovers: A Bone A Day Keeps The Vet Away

• The Inquirer reports today about the exploding business of health insurance for pets. This little chart with the article lets us know that the top insurance claim for dogs is skin allergies and the top claim for cats is urinary tract infections. Thanks, Inquirer! [Inky]

• Allen Iverson’s mom’s ABA basketball team — of course she has a basketball team — won its first game 145-141 in double overtime last night. Can’t top Enrico’s line: “The ABA, where Kyle Korver could be named defensive player of the year.” [The 700 Level]

• Pennsylvania’s Jack Murtha could become House Majority Leader. And Will Bunch is against it! Black is white, day is night, the world is spinning on its head! [Attytood]

• Thursday, the Air Force awarded a contract to Boeing to build 141 helicopters in its Ridley Township plant. This news, of course, came about a week late to help Curt Weldon. All together now: Muahahaha! [Inky, 2nd item]

Election: Declaring Another Race Irresponsibly

Okay, with approximately .0002 percent of the precincts reporting — but with some actual info leading me to call it in this direction — Philadelphia Will Do is irresponsibly declaring Joe Sestak as defeating Curt Weldon in the seventh district of Pennsylvania.

Curt’s concession speech? I am more psyched for this than I’ve been for anything in a long time.

Curt Weldon’s Soviet Ties Illustrated With Helpful Graffiti

This cannot be overstated: His concession speech is going to be the best thing ever.

Archives: Curt Weldon

Adwatch: I Like Joe (For Congress)

Okay, today’s Adwatch wasn’t on TV and isn’t an official campaign ad, but I don’t care. It’s a minute-long ad with a bouncing ball — so you can follow the words! — about how Curt Weldon needs to go, with a little bit of Joe Sestak praise thrown in at the end. And it’s done by former members of the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Because if there’s one group I want to tell me who to vote for, it’s the Squirrel Nut Zippers. (Perhaps their next hit can be, “If you vote for Bush… D and the A and the M and the N and the A and the T and the I-O-N.” Ho ho!) Follow me after the jump for the ad.

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Leftovers: Philadelphia, Somewhere In The USA

• Behold, the Action News graphic for the Pier 34 murder trial. Yes, we Philadelphians are now too stupid to even know where the hell we are if the TV news doesn’t point it out to us. [6 ABC]

• You can all stop sending me this story about the stolen puppy. First off, I’m sure it’s a fine pup, but it’s not nearly cute enough for me to steal. Second off, I was in a different part of Egg Harbor City that night. [NBC 10]

• Gay Marriage is unlikely in Jersey, as the legislators are likely to simply pass civil union laws instead. Sez an anti-civil union state senator in need of some rephrasing: “If all of a sudden we deemed that a white man that marries a black woman would be denied benefits, that’s equal protection.” [Press of AC]

• Curt Weldon earmarked money to the company whose director bought Terrell Owens’ NFC Championship ring. Heh. [Inquirer]

Adwatch: Joe Sestak Out Of Nowhere!

Today’s Adwatch video is a 30-second spot for Admiral Joe Sestak, as he likes to call himself, a retired Vice Admiral in the Navy who’s battling against noted conspiracy theorist Curt Weldon.

While Sestak is a political neophyte, he’s running ahead of Curt Weldon in recent polls, mainly due to… well.. Curt Weldon being the zaniest (to put it nicely) politician ever. Also, Sestak has these ads that are, like, super-patriotic. I’ll analyze one after the jump.

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Weldon Blamegate Update

Since the homes and offices of his daughter and her associates were raided Monday of last week, Curt Weldon has pretty much blamed every single person on the planet for the raid. “It’s politically motivated,” he says, and blah blah blah, etc. He’s involved in a tough re-election battle with Joe Sestak, and it appears he wants to figure out how to make the voters believe there’s some conspiracy against him.

But how to keep track of each new and exciting person responsible for the FBI raid that Weldon manages to pull out of his ass? Yes, a tough task indeed. Which is why I’m going to try to figure it all out here, after the jump.

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Next For Weldon: Chants Of ‘M-V-P!’

Every day it seems like there’s a new, ultra-hilarious aspect of Curt “Gogolyguk” Weldon’s campaign for re-election in the seventh district. Whether it’s blaming everyone in the world for the federal probe, being an asshole to his daughter or even chiding his opponent for having a sick daughter, Weldon is a top-notch politician in terms of hilarity.

Which brings us to Friday night’s debate with challenger Joe Sestak. Apparently, it was a pretty pro-Weldon crowd, according to the Inquirer:

The debate ended with chants of “Curt! Curt! Curt!”

You have got to be kidding me. This is gogolyguk.

Weldon comes out swinging [Inquirer]
Archives: Curt Weldon