Revenge of the nerd bank robber

See that guy to the left? He robbed a fucking bank. Allegedly. He even confessed, according to police. Yes, Lehigh University — close enough to write about, shush — Class of 2008 president Greg Hogan was arrested for robbing a bank on Friday.

Police said he entered the bank, demanded money and ended up with $2,871. He exited, got into his frat brother’s car and they returned to the fraternity house, presumably to swim around in a big pool of $20 bills.

He was arrested. His frat bro says he was an unknowing accomplice. What makes the story weirder is he was apparently really rich. The story from Lehigh’s student newspaper, The Brown & White, interviews several random shocked students, including one who wants you to know it wasn’t an accident: “You really have to go out of your way to rob a bank.”

I can’t disagree with that. But I do have a simple question: Who would actually think this kid could be threatening? Look at him! If I were a bank teller and he told me to stick ‘em up, I’d fall on the ground laughing. The only thing less threatening to me would be if I were a bank teller and Greg Gumble tried to rob me.

Class of 2008 president arrested in bank robbery [The Brown & White]