New Favorite Part Of Cricket: Ear-Pulling

A man in Bucks County — who was simply trying to let his son be able to order a cheesesteak at Geno’s — has gotten in trouble for beating his child with a paddle because he refused to learn English.

Or, at least, that’s what the police say. Yes, the Bucks County Courier Times story reports police said Darshan Patel paddled his 3-year-old nephew because he wasn’t speaking English. (And, therefore, would have to go to Pat’s.) He’s charged with endangering the welfare of a child and other offenses.

But relatives of Patel say the two were just playing cricket, which the Courier helpfully notes is “a popular game in India and England using a ball and paddle.” Continuing on:

Police were called to the Country Club Apartments on Veterans Highway about 5:34 p.m. Saturday because a witness claimed to see Darshan Patel smack the boy, strike him with the cricket paddle and pull his ears, according to the complaint. Police said the boy was standing in the open trunk of a Mercedez Benz next to Darshan Patel when they arrived. Darshan Patel told police he was playing with the child, but also said he was trying to teach the boy English, according to the complaint.

PJ Patel said the two were just playing cricket and his cousin had placed the boy in the open truck because the ground was still wet. He said neighbors just didn’t understand what the two were doing.

Because, really, where else do you go when the ground gets wet besides the trunk of a Benz?

Man charged with striking child with paddle [Bucks County Courier Times]