Drug Problem Eliminated By Hershey

Rejoice, Americans! A loosely-affiliated coalition of newspaper columnists, corrupt drug prohibitionists and other various annoying people have finally succeeded in outlawing Hershey’s Jill Porter brand crack cocaine mints, as the company announced for some reason today it wasn’t making any more. Don’t worry, these people will most certainly take credit for Hershey’s 65% fourth-quarter profit drop.

Even though that had already been decided, I thought, Porter’s crack cocaine mints are now officially done for as Hershey’s CEO announced on a conference call they wouldn’t be made ever again. So now these things-look-like-drugs people can turn their attention to oregano and chalk, and these mints that somehow “glorify the drug trade” will no longer terrorize our communities.

I’m sure the narcotics officers are gleeful. Now they can breathe easy and go back to arresting black people like they usually do!

Hershey Pulls Mints That Look Like Illegal Drugs [Fox News]