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Mint Prohibition Doesn’t Work!

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What have I been telling you people? When you try to ban mints, the only people helped are the illegal mint sellers. How else to explain, a day after Hershey’s pulled the plug on Jill Porter’s crack cocaine mints, the plethora of listings on eBay for the “discontinued, limited edition” mints. On the street, Hershey’s mints go for about $2.19. But now that they’ve been forced to the black market, the mints are selling for close to 10 bucks (plus shipping) with several auction days to go.

Now our children are going to buy the mints online, replace them with real drugs and sell the fake mints to their friends, who will respond with a hail of bullets. Sound far-fetched? This was one of the reasons the company banned the mints that somehow “glorify the drug trade.” Really. People actually said that.

Apparently the crusade wasn’t limited to Philadelphia, although Philly was apparently the only city to call for Hershey’s to remove “Ice Break Pacs,” whatever they are. The Daily News gloats today over its great triumph for humanity.

Meanwhile, the activists are not happy, and are still boycotting Hershey products. I urge all good Philadelphians to smoke a little crack for ol’ Milton Hershey and his crack cocaine mints tonight. RIP, Ice Breaker Pacs.