N.J. Cop Charged With Sex With Cow

A cop in Moorestown, N.J. — America’s greatest place to live, or something — was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.

And now, naturally, he’s facing more charges related to sex he allegedly had with a cow. Yes, Officer Robert Melia Jr. allegedly engaged in sex with cows four times between June and December of 2006.

What makes this even more amazing is Terrell Owens was in the background while this man was having sex with cows! Unbelievable!

Officer Allegedly Performed Sex Acts On Cows [CBS 3]
T.O.’s been cropped out of porn site’s photo [Phillygossip]

Dean To Save Us From Endless Election

I got a little scared yesterday about the possibility of six weeks of build-up to the Pennsylvania primary, making the Internet (and, in some cases, real life) unbearable.

Fortunately, Howard Dean — remember him? no? — is going to save us all by up and deciding the nominee himself:

“I think we will have a nominee sometime in the middle of March or April,” Mr. Dean said Wednesday on the NY1 cable news channel, “but if we don’t, then we’re going to have to get the candidates together and make some kind of an arrangement. Because I don’t think we can afford to have a brokered convention; that would not be good news for either party.”

Hooray! Maybe Howard Dean will scream and annoy everyone enough that everyone will decide to give Obama the nod just to shut him up. Or hopefully the Democrats nominate Ron Paul.

Obama and Clinton Brace for a Long Run [NYT]

The ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ Of Danville, Pennsylvania

The above photo is of the last moments of a cow’s life. After the morning newspaper in Danville, Pa. (map) ran this photo, several readers called in to complain and threatened to cancel their subscriptions. Here’s the :

More »