Seth Williams Makes Us All City Employees

In a Young Philly Politics post gushing on Seth Williams, the man himself responds and lets us know only we can prevent forest fires municipal corruption:

I am deputizing all of you Assistant Inspectors General, you don’t get badges but you will get the thanks of all Philadelphians if you can help end our reputation of being “corrupt and contented”. If you have information regarding corruption, fraud or waste in the municipal government please contact me. If you have ideas or suggestions about sting operations I could initiate don’t hold back, the time is now to end municipal corruption in all of its forms.

Awwwwwesome! You see, this is how we’re going to end every problem in this city. Milton Street wants to deputize all Philadelphians as police officers and now Seth Williams has made us corruption cops.

I can’t wait ’til my first sting operation. Can I do it on John Street? That’d be a blast. Do we get health insurance now that we’re junior inspectors general or whatever? We don’t? How about if I slip you a cool $100 bill?

YPP’s One True Mission: Elect Seth Williams [Young Philly Politics]

The Slot Thickens

In some cities, if the mayor’s brother was recently indicted for corruption, you would think the mayor would try to avoid any conflicts of interest, anything out of the ordinary. The mayor might not even jaywalk. But not in Philadelphia. Not John Street.

Yesterday, the city and Riverwalk Casino/Planet Hollywood/Sylvester Stallone announced that the casino would be sponsoring the New Year’s Eve fireworks.

The money comes with no strings attached, and John Street said it wasn’t a conflict of interest, but then again, this is John Street. And, as Daily News reporters Damon Williams and Chris Brennan report that, uh, it is a conflict of interest.

Street, during a Penn’s Landing Corp. meeting last December, cast the deciding vote to give Riverwalk a long-term lease on the site so the investors could seek a gaming license.

Yesterday Street met with four of the five casino applicants and will meet with the fifth today to hear updates on their plans and on how they will address concerns of the communities involved.

Sometime in the next two weeks, Street will let the state Gaming Control Board, members of the Legislature and Gov. Rendell know what he thinks of the applicants.

@)*@RFJK:LS@)#* @*(@(@(JSDFJKLFDS

Sorry, I was banging my head on the keyboard there. But we serfs don’t get to decide things like where casinos should be or who will be the next mayor and whatnot. Hope you enjoy the Riverwalk Casino! But, as Important Officials keep telling us, the show must go on! Because, really, why are we doing it? Oh, of course:

Meryl Levitz, president and chief executive of the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corp., sees the fireworks as a way to boost tourism. “This started in 1991 as a way to celebrate the Bicentennial,” Levitz said.

Casino applicant to fund fireworks [Daily News]
Yesterday: Welcome, Our Planet Hollywood Casino Overlords

Wireless Philadelphia Just Like Everything Else

Hmm, what’s that?

It took six hearings, but Philadelphia City Council has given a preliminary okay to the Mayor’s plan to blanket the city in wireless Internet.

Woo-hoo! Finally! Man, what took you guys so long?

Wireless Philadelphia officials had hoped that approval by the council committee would have come weeks ago, but committee chair Brian O’Neill says it was important and complicated, so six hearings were needed:

Six hearings? I mean, whatever you say, Brian, but it seemed like a pretty simple open-and-shut one to me. But, oh! It was important and complicated! Erhm. Hey, wait a minute…

“There were stacks of papers I think if you put on top of each they’d be taller than me, and I’m 6-4, so it was a lot of work, but a lot of good work, I think.”

Wait for it… wait for it…

Committee approval of the ambitious WiFi plan came only after the Mayor made some key concessions on the plan. Now, City Council will be able to appoint three members to the Wireless Philadelphia Board.

Heeeeey! There we go! That’s the City Council I know and hate!

Phila. City Council Okays Wireless Internet Plan [KYW 1060]

Sometimes, the simplest things in life are best

I have to admit, the recent Metro “Today’s Debate” responses have been utterly disappointing in their lack of unintentional hilarity. the Metro editors must have noticed this too, as today’s question is one of those “fishing for funny answers” ones.

Granted, the story the question is based on — a city official dismissing parking tickets in exchange for Prince and Phil Collins concert tickets — is filled with unintentional comedy itself, but that doesn’t mean these answers will be. Let’s go to the tape (click to enlarge):

Meh. You know? That’s just not the high comedy I expect from Metro man on the street interviews. (No offense to those interviews; they did a bang-up job in coming up with a joke in short order.) Next time, try asking, “So, how about that weather out there?” I bet the responses will be absolutely crazy.

Feds: He fixed parking tix to get concert ducats [DN]
Dec. 7, 2005: Metro: Uncovering conspiracies you didn’t even suspect