Obama To Speak On (Uh-Oh) Race

Today at the National Constitution Center, Barack Obama will give a speech about his race. Judging by how well Mitt Romney’s Mormon speech went over earlier in this campaign, I can only assume this will clinch the nomination for Hillary Clinton.

Obama is an excellent orator at times, even though we’re not allowed to say that because it might be racist. But can he actually speak about race in America without being called a racist? Some “professor of race and pop culture” at “the University of Southern California” told ABC News: “We’ve never really had a proper discussion about race and racism in this society so when comments come about as they have throughout this campaign we really don’t know how to act.” Ha ha, good luck, Obama!

All of this stems from the earlier race issues in the campaign, like when Bill Clinton said white people drive like this, and black people drive like that. But Obama’s pastor, Rev. Wacky, said some wacky things like we shouldn’t be throwing everybody in jail. Obama has apparently already “condemned” this quote: “The government gives them drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants to sing ‘God Bless America. No, no, no, not ‘God Bless America’ — ‘God Damn America.’” This makes sense, of course, as Barack Obama wants to keep putting black people in prison for drug crimes at a rate ridiculously higher than that of white people.

ABC News says Obama has a “postracial” appeal and his speech will be about moving past race. I fear that somehow this speech will end in only one thing: President John McCain. Ohh, WALNUTS!

Obama’s Race Speech to Stress Moving On [ABC News]

Elder Bush To Chair Constitution Center

Today, George H.W. Bush — the slightly better one — was named chairman of the National Constitution Center. “I am proud to chair this wonderful museum and education center, this jewel of America that brings the message of our Constitution, a timeless document which continues to change and transform our world, to the nation,” Bush said in a statement, since he’s recovering from surgery.

With the big-name appointment of George H.W. Bush to chair the board of the Constitution Center, it’s time to look at the last time the Center had a big name down there. At the opening, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor showed up, and if you remember, here’s what happened:

So: A good move to get Bush. His first act should be to have falling scaffoldings on alternate Tuesdays or something. It’d really bring in the crowds.

Former President Bush to chair Constitution Center board [Inquirer]