College Women To Lower Federal Deficit

The college kids are starting to trickle back into the city, and that means one thing: Uhh, birth control sales are going up? Well, I guess.

There is one thing we know: KYW 1060 reports birth control prices are going up. The 2005 Federal Deficit Reduction Act, which went into effect in January, significantly cut the discount pharmaceutical manufacturers could offer to student health centers. Somehow, this will cut the deficit so much we can start a few more wars, or perhaps care for all the babies people are going to have because they can’t afford birth control.

(Actually, I don’t know if that’s true; it makes sense, no? Hopefully college kids will just buy smaller amounts of weed and spend the rest on the pill or whatever, or wear a fucking condom, but, you know, people are pretty stupid.)

Although it’s been in effect since January, schools stocked up on medications with prefixes like Ortho- at the end of 2006. Now the supplies are depleted, and the prices are finally going up. A school paper in Nebraska says prices for “Ortho Tri- Cyclen Lo” went from $10 to $40. It’s also a college paper so it has one of these funny constructions: “This increase in price has caused many students to rethink their birth control methods. [...] junior Betsy Hills said: ‘I think this is going to cause a lot of UNO students and women in general to rethink their birth control methods.’”

Oh, and Penn apparently didn’t stock up because Penn hates its students; the West Philly school’s prices went up in January.

College Kids To See Increased Prices For Birth Control [KYW 1060]
[Image is, of course, the Plan B girl]

College Kids Get Drunk, Are Jerks

Shocking fact about college kids: Lots of ‘em drink! And when they drink, they sometimes do crazy things. And the little town of West Chester, who just got over the looming Bam Margera menace, isn’t quite sure what to do about it.

West Chester doesn’t have enough police to handle drunk kids — you may have heard West Chester has quite the rap as a party school — and so the town has to pay police overtime. But, please, someone hire some more cops. Think of the children:

He even says some of the first words his son spoke were “drunken college kids.”

Sure, not “mom” or “dad,” but “drunken college kids.” Eh, better to learn early, I say!

Student nightlife taxes W. Chester’s resources [Inquirer]