I Am A Drexel Dictionary

Whoo! Did youse all enjoy my Twittering? Well, apparently Twitter is down right now so even if you were interested in my thoughts on an early-season college basketball game you might not have been able to hear them. Only from me can you get wisdom like, “Academic inquiry: Have Drexel’s girls gotten hotter in the last ~4 years?” and “Penn kid: ‘Hey number zero, is that how many points you’ve scored?’ Me: ‘Hey number forty-two, is that how many points you’ve scored? Oh wait¹.’”

This was the first time Penn played Drexel at Drexel in 87 years. usually the two teams just play at Penn’s Palestra (aka the best place to watch a basketball game ever). Drexel’s gym, the DAC, actually has banners for the winner of the school’s annual intramural basketball league and is not the best place to watch a basketball game ever.

Here’s what happened at the Penn-Drexel game today: 745,000 foul calls, 45 billion missed free throws, a couple okay rollouts and horrible chants from everyone. Despite also giving up 40 offensive rebounds (or so), Penn had a chance to tie the game with three free throws with 2 seconds left. Naturally, the team missed the first one. But Penn actually almost hit a turnaround jumper at the horn on the offensive board; it missed, sparing us overtime.

The best part of the whole game was the trophy for winning the Battle of 33rd Street (apparently) as well as this definition which was on a poster all over the gym:

That’s from Samuel Johnson’s, right? I can only assume, with how poetic it is and all.

¹ This was actually “Oh shit” in the Twitter version, but I changed it for my mom. In real life I sorta just went “OshhHH,” the all-purpose non-vulgar interjection expressing humor.

Villanova Jobbed… Should We Be Happy?

As a Philadelphia college basketball fan, I hate Villanova. That doesn’t mean I never root for Villanova — I went to a Philly school, but it wasn’t St. Joe’s — but they are my least favorite team of the Philly schools. They’re Villanova, of course.

Last night, though, the Wildcats lost to Georgetown on a call that’d make you think the ref had money on the Hoyas (Latin for “Whats”). Here’s what went down on the final play:

With the score tied at 53-53, Scottie Reynolds’ driving layup was blocked by Jeremiah Rivers in the game’s dying seconds and Jonathan Wallace came out of a ferocious scrum with the loose ball. As he turned to launch a heave at the buzzer, Corey Stokes went out to block him and got just the slightest piece of Wallace’s jersey.

The whistle blew with one tenth of a second left.

Wallace strode to the foul line and calmly sank two free throws to give Georgetown a 55-53 win.

As much as I’d like to see Villanova beat Georgetown… well, ha ha, this is a pretty hilarious way to lose a game. Better luck next time, Mainliners!

Villanova-Georgetown postgame [Soft Pretzel Logic]
Villanova - Late foul spoils Villanova’s chance against Georgetown [Daily News]

Sometimes, The Penn Kids Do Have Good Ideas

I have a lot of fun here making fun of Penn, because (a) Penn deserves it and (b) Penn deserves it. Plus, I spent four years there and what did it get me? I have to make fun of things every day on this blog and… hmm, well, y’know, maybe Penn’s not so bad.

I say that, of course, not because of me or because Penn professors love kiddie porn but because of a play made by Penn’s Ibrahim Jaaber in a basketball game against Cornell over the weekend.

Now, to make this intro even more convoluted, here’s a little surprising fact about me: I do have a life outside of this blog. (Note that I didn’t say this was a good life, or an interesting one, but it’s one nonetheless.) And part of that life — okay, one of the few things I do besides it — is writing about college basketball for whoever will pay me. And so I saw this play on Saturday while cheaply whoring myself to a basketball website, and now I can share it with you.

And, really, sometimes, the Penn kids do know how to do things better than others.

But what makes it even better is the inexplicable announcer’s comment: “Jaaber says, ‘Why not? I’m from Elizabeth, and I go to Penn.’” Yes, that’s true. But… wha…?