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Nov
10
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Hey, there’s Joe Biden, taking in the Eagles game last night in South Philadelphia. And with him is Hollywood Hamels, enjoying his status as a Philadelphia hero. Let’s zoom the camera a bit and focus in on Cole and… hey!
Don’t pan away from Hamels! You’re in Philadelphia, NBC cameras. Since when does the VP trump the World Series MVP around here? Talk to me when Joe Biden wins Most Valuable Vice President.
Look how NBC is treating Cole. The man has to move his neck in from offscreen to get on camera. How rude. Doesn’t the channel know what’s important?
Ahh, yes, here is the shot for the viewers, not Cole Hamels but Jeffrey Lurie, who also recently struck out 30 people in the playoffs. Clearly this is all the panning and zooming NBC needs to do.
Oh, yeah, and the Eagles lost.
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dmac | 10:22 AM | 8 Comments
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Oct
31
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 Forget the parade. Cole Hamels has signed a deal to sell autographed balls, bats and other memorabilia. But wait, there’s more!
Tonight, Hamels will be on QVC shilling stuff! Set your DVRs!
As part of the agreement, Hamels… will appear on QVC Friday between 8 and 11 p.m., during which time Mounted Memories and MAB Celebrity Sports will be selling a full line of World Series items including a selection of products signed by the pitcher.
Three hours hawking products on QVC! Now that’s a great way to spend your Friday night after winning World Series MVP.
Cole Hamels signs autograph deal [Philadelphia Business Journal]
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dmac | 10:25 AM | 1 Comment
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Oct
1
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Cole Hamels retired the first 17 batters he faced before giving up a single to Corey Hart, wearing sunglasses. He has 6 strikeouts and no walks through 5.
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dmac | 4:22 PM | 1 Comment
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Mar
2
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Phillies ace Cole Hamels (at right), who despite not being the opening day starter is clearly set up as the Phillies #1 pitcher, is poised for a big year. Well, ha ha, too bad, now he’s pissed about his contract.
Hamels called the one-year, $500,000 deal a “low blow” but also hoped that Phillies fans won’t think he’s greedy.
“They do want to keep you happy, and that will affect down the line with certain things that come up because you can’t just all of a sudden throw everything out at (a player) at the last second and think that’s really going to make him happy, because he’s still got check marks for what they didn’t do in the years before.” Hamels told the Daily News‘ David Murphy, who I know because his name is on my bedroom wall on some plaque.
This is a boom for all the fans, of course, who were worrying about being able to complain about the Phillies being cheap when they’ve actually had a respectable payroll recently. Also, if Cole Hamels doesn’t want Phillies fans to think he’s a greedy athlete, maybe he should pitch the Phillies to the World Series. After that, some fans might be willing to donate a couple thousand to Hamels himself.
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dmac | 6:03 PM | 310 Comments
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Aug
22
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Er, I guess. A lot of stuff went down yesterday, and none of it involved the teams who are currently awful — the Sixers, who we all know are awful, and the Flyers, who are awful until proven otherwise — so let’s do a couple of recaps.
• As you may have read yesterday, the Eagles released Jeremiah Trotter, the four-time Pro Bowler who once anchored the defense — and helped the Eagles make Super Bowl 39. (Roman numerals are stupider than the metric system.) Although Trotter is only 30, his knees are about 55. Trotter is looking to head for another team, though he had a somewhat weird, emotional goodbye to the Eagles. The defensive players were kind of upset. Trotter will probably head to the Denver Broncos, following Allen Iverson, as all of Philadelphia’s most popular players will head to higher altitude. I was so unsure of how to finish this I stole the previous joke from my mom. (All Jeremiah Trotter references for the rest of this year will be accompanied by references to my mom, most likely.)
• Omar Gaither will be the one replacing the Axeman. He got a call from Trotter Monday night: “The first thing he said was, ‘Congratulations.’ He explained everything to me. That means the world to me. That’s the first thing you should know about me. There’s no bad blood between us. The fact that he came out today and did what he did shows that he has my back, which helps me as far as my teammates are concerned. He told me he’d be praying for me, and I really appreciate it.” Dammit, now I’m going to miss Jeremiah Trotter even more, personality-wise, at least. Moves like this, though, make me appreciate the Eagles management — if Trotter were a Phillie he’d be here ’til 2015 at least.
Some Fightins stuff follows.
More »
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dmac | 9:30 AM | 4 Comments
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Jun
8
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Although he didn’t get the win last night, here’s guessing Cole Hamels had a pretty good day yesterday. Just look where he was visiting.
Today at the Plaque [Playboy Blog]
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dmac | 3:51 PM | 1 Comment
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May
18
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While the so-called “Main Stream Media” was asleep at the switch, the commenters on Philly.com were on the case on the truth about Cole Hamels.
Sure, he was perfect through 6 innings, retiring the first 18 batters he faced, in Wednesday’s 6-2 win over the Milwaukee Brewers. But how does he treat his fellow man? Pretty shitty, according to the comments. All of them have been removed, but I’ll share the earth-shattering revelation that sparked the debate over Cole Hamels’ personal life yesterday.
I usually hate postings like this, but this was too good to not share: my sister is a nurse at a hospital two miles from Citizens Bank. A doctor who she works with told her that her next door neighbor knows Cole Hamels personally and that he is a real jerk. Despite the homeowners association rules, he puts out his grass clippings on Sunday night even though trash pickup isn’t until Wednesday. Everyone in the community has to drive around his trash all day Monday and Tuesday. Not cool.
Using the time-honored journalistic source of a nurse near Citizens Bank (Park, I assume) who knows a doctor who has a neighbor who knows Cole Hamels, commenter ksmags gets the “inside scoop” on Mr. Hamels, making sure we all know his neighbors have to carry his trash around the neighborhood on Mondays and Tuesdays for some reason. And Cole Hamels eats like 15 deer a week, so I bet his bags are heavy. Hamels should know, however, that he should bring his garbage bags out to the field with him like every other major league player. Prima donna.
This Hamels comment came directly after this groundbreaking comment from Curly: “Feets don’t fail me now! WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB!!!”
Phils win as Hamels flirts with no-hitter [Phillies]
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dmac | 1:19 PM | 11 Comments
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May
12
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&8226; In the latest poll, Gov. Ed Rendell is up, 55-33, over challenger Lynn Swann. Right now, a Swann win looks about as likely as, hmm… as, say, the Immaculate Reception. Fortunately for Eddie, Franco Harris is not running for governor. [AP/Philly.com]
• Tonight is the Debut of Cole Hamels™, perhaps the most heralded Phillies call-up since, erhm, Gavin Floyd. Hey, he won last night, too, y’know. As this is the Internet, there will be some Friday night liveblogging action. Until then, believe the hype. [Balls, Sticks & Stuff]
• Okay, now that I’ve purchased my tickets, I can tell youse: Phillies-Red Sox tickets are still available! Single game, too. I got the cheap seats for Sunday. [Phillies.com]
• The Canadians trying to buy the Inquirer and Daily News want to slash newsroom jobs in order to win the love of the Teamsters. Pretty shitty, eh? [Attytood]
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dmac | 3:40 PM | 0 Comments
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May
10
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 • Lefty 22-year-old Cole Hamels is going to make his first start Friday against the Reds. They were going to take it slow with him, but after three starts in a row where he allowed one run total and struck out 36, well, it was time. Let’s hope he’s the real deal. [Phillies.com]
• New Jersey: First it’s gay unions, now it’s medical marijuana. Hmm. Be careful Jerz, people are going to start confusing you with California any day now. Wait, no they won’t. [Philly Future]
• Beer makers are focusing on making beer look more upscale and marketing to more affluent consumers. This will change the time-tested tradition of beer ads where working class men get together and, say, build a barn. Ads featuring scantily-clad women are expected to stay. [AP/Yahoo!]
• Young Philly Politics asks: Is Larry Farnese secretly a communist?!?! Erhm, wait, wrong decade. I meant to say, “Is Larry Farnese secretly not a progressive?!?!” Currently, I’m pondering a similar question: Which district do I live in? [Young Philly Politics]
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dmac | 4:16 PM | 3 Comments
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