Reason #58 To Love Philadelphia New Jersey: Gay Civil Unions

Yesterday was the first day gay people in New Jersey could file for civil unions, six months after Jon Corzine signed the law. The civil union law stemmed from a court decision that ruled the state could not deny the same rights to gay couples it gave to straight couples.

So the legislature passed a bill for civil unions because if they had used the word “marriage” people would have been angry, or something. And, after a 72-hour waiting period, New Jersey’s gay couples who registered are going to be, ah, unionized.

Hey, it’s something. And now gay couples can get spousal privileges and can also be just as depressed in a marriage — or a civil union, rather — as straight people. But only until the first gay civil divorce will this law be fully realized. Now that will be a great day in New Jersey history.

Across N.J., gays register for civil unions [Daily News]

Watch Out, First-Born Sons Of Jersey

Today’s Daily News column by Christine Flowers takes on the New Jersey court’s ruling the other day, which gave the legislature six months to pass a law for gay civil unions or one for gay marriage.

Flowers, of course, is against gay marriage, and even gay civil unions. I sort of get the anti-gay marriage position, since lots of people like to say “this is our ball and we’re not letting you play with it.” Lame, but whatever. But opposition to gay civil unions — i.e., letting gay partners have all the benefits of marriage if the couple wishes to — just strikes me as absurd. Oh, those queers! If they get spousal privileges in court and hospital visitation rights I will just blow my stack!

To be honest, I think it’d be better if marriage wasn’t sanctioned by the government. When’s the last time the government did anything successful? Right. If I were to get married, I’d rather have it not government-sanctioned. It’d totally have a much better shot at succeeding. What’s the divorce rate right now, about 50 percent? Like most things, marriage is another government failure.

But anyway, Ms. Flowers is against the New Jersey court’s ruling, because… it… it could cause brothers and sisters to enter into civil unions of their own! Uhm, okay. Not to get all John Stossel on you, but, really, who cares? (And the prohibition on cousin/sibling/etc. marriage is because of the creepy kids you’d get, right? Because no one has premarital sex nowadays!)

Alright, alright, let’s finish this up: Flowers uses an interesting technique in this article. It’s what scholars of rhetoric called “calling your opponents children and then telling them they’re going to burn in hell.”

THERE’S AN interesting scene in “The Ten Commandments” where Yul Brynner, as the pharaoh, decides to show everyone that his word is law.

Like a petulant child worried that he’s not being taken seriously, Egypt’s absolute ruler juts out his chin, squares his shoulders and says, “So let it be written, so let it be done.” Which basically means, my way or the highway. Of course, having a temper tantrum can lead to bad things, like a plague of locusts and such. [...]

But the court doesn’t get to make that call. The legislature does. Bad things happen when we forget our place. Pharaoh could tell you that.

Ho ho! Get it? A plague of locusts on New Jersey for its intolerant ways of letting gay and lesbian couples share health insurance!

Christine M. Flowers | NEW JERSEY COURT’S PYRAMID SCHEME [Daily News]
Kissing Cousins [N.Y. Sun]
Earlier today: Abridged
‘Daily News’ Columnists

Jersey Gays Closer To Spousal Privilege Rights

As briefly noted yesterday, New Jersey’s high court ruled yesterday that the state could not restrict the rights of two same-sex people to enter into a binding legal contract equal to that of marriage between a man and a woman. In short, gays can marry but the state doesn’t have to call it “marriage.”

The state legislature in Jerz now has 180 days to either pass a gay marriage law or a gay civil unions law. Not sure exactly what the difference is, but surely people on both sides will be tremendously up in arms over it for the next 180 days. (And probably even longer.)

Of course, since the ruling came so close to the November 7 elections, observers are wondering if it could effect them. Will Bunch, writing in the Daily News, says that “[m]any experts were surprised that the court, which has a 4-3 Republican majority, ruled on the political hot potato right before the Nov. 7 election.”

So the pro-gay rights court ruling is most certainly a Republican plot, right? Not so fast, says some asshole. League of American Families director John Tomicki is pissed!

“That’s our history. That’s our tradition. That’s what the law is in an overwhelming majority of this country and this court has decided in their judicial arrogance to go ahead and legislate from the bench.”

Oh no, our tradition will surely be ruined by lesbians getting hospital visitation rights with their partners! Our tradition of gaybashing is surely ruined!

Small step down the aisle [Daily News]
NJ Gay Marriage Ruling Could Impact Elections [KYW 1060]
Gay Marriage Opponents Angry Over NJ Ruling [KYW 1060]