No child left behind

Yesterday, the Citypaper began its new sex column, which means I think every publication in the city besides The Evening Bulletin has one now. The first column was pretty honest and good, especially for the questions writer Ashlea Halpern got about what will your mother think/how will this affect your career/etc. I especially liked that because I got the same questions when I became a professional blogger. (Some would take that as a slam, but I’m proud to be on the same plane with sex columnists in at least one way.)

Anyway, this paragraph caught my attention (emphasis mine):

My mother raised me like an open book. Sex was never a four-letter word, despite her own intercourse-is-evil upbringing. She talked openly about “the beauty of making love” and taught me how to roll condoms on bananas in the fifth grade. She wasn’t angry when I got booted out of kindergarten for masturbating during nap time and never punished me for drawing pubic hair on my Barbies.

All together now (since you just had the same thought, too): Jesus. I went to the wrong fucking kindergarten.

One Sexy Mother [CP]