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Dec
26
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Jill Porter: For some reason, I hope people are chagrined by Andy Reid’s lawyer-approved column in Phillymag.
Chris Brennan: Ha, it’s not just the West Philly El project that has SEPTA annoying people. SEPTA does it on Jenkintown rail tracks, too! Oh, and people there lie.
Carol Towarnicky: Sorry, Carol, I went to church on Christmas, and I don’t know if I can deal with Christianity again for a little bit.
Fatimah Ali: “I instinctively get mad when a homeless person approaches me[.]” It seems kind of weird to get mad; wouldn’t you be mad like every time you walk through Center City? That’s no way to have a good day.
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dmac | 10:36 AM | 0 Comments
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Dec
10
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Okay, I’m going to say nice things about all the Daily News columns today. Really!
Jill Porter: No Hershey’s cracklicious mints this time. Ahh, it’s sort of a defense about the attention paid to the Bonnie half of the Bonnie & Clyde. It’s pretty good.
Chris Brennan: This is another column about the West Philly El construction that is taking forever and destroying businesses. (Nobody has a place to park. Couldn’t they take the Subway? Whatever.) It’s about how the money the government put aside to help those local businesses hasn’t been spent, even at local bars. Can somebody pay me to drink? That would be great. Anyway, this column is pretty good, too.
John Baer: John Baer’s usually a pretty decent columnist, and today’s column is about Pennsylvania’s chief justice, who is… I have no idea. Neither do you. (Maybe ChrissMari does.) So: Good! The stuff about the soon to be chief justice, Ron Castille (Hey! I at least know this name!), is kinda pointless but the stuff about the 2010 governor’s race is interesting. Pretty good.
Stu Bykofsky: Bykofsky admits a mistake in the fourth sentence, which makes the column already good. (Lots of columnists won’t apologize.) And he says he likes humans, so another win. Pretty good.
Debbie Woodell: Woodell, the paper’s columnist on gay issues, says “don’t ask, don’t tell” should be eliminated in the military. Shouldn’t the army take all the soldiers they can get, etc. Also, this column is short. Yay! Again, pretty good.
Deborah Leavy: Essentially a plug for DonorChoose.org, which allows teachers to request books to help, uh, teach children. Good cause, etc. Pretty good.
Man, that was a lot of columns to say nice things about. Honestly, I’m just happy I’m done; I had to enjoy what I was reading for too long there.
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dmac | 9:43 AM | 6 Comments
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Nov
26
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Chris Brennan: Yeah, the El is still under construction in West Philly, only like 45 years after it was supposed to be finished.
John Baer: Hmm, why doesn’t everyone take a nuanced stance on a tremendously complicated issue? Ha ha, that’s right, they’re politicians.
Stu Bykofsky: Hey, Byko isn’t going to buy any products from China because of tainted dog food or something. Too bad every single product is made there; apparently he’s going dumpster diving.
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dmac | 10:17 AM | 0 Comments
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Nov
19
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John Baer: Wait a minute. “Reform” candidates aren’t really reforming anything? No, you must lie, fair columnist!
Chris Brennan: Hey, a nice story of a woman with a wheelchair who can’t get to work because her elevators don’t work.
Stu Bykofsky: There’s no better time to convince you to become a vegetarian than Thanksgiving!
And I’ve caught the flu or something, so today may be an extremely light day as I go try to sleep this off. Bear with me, and go watch this texting video. Pass it around; the public deserves to see this kind of hilarity.
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dmac | 9:55 AM | 1 Comment
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Oct
29
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Stu Bykofsky: Hey, you may not know this, with the Daily News being your only source of information and all, but a magazine poll ranked this city ugly! Also, here’s a note about City Council: “You’re more likely to find their pictures on a milk carton than on a Wheaties box.” Uhh, I know athletes tend to be attractive, but Wheaties box cover subjects aren’t chosen on attractiveness. As far as I know.
Stu Bykofsky: Wuzzah? Stu wrote two columns today? They’re both dated Oct. 29, so it seems so; the Daily News doesn’t label Byko’s columns as columns on Philly.com for some reason, so I miss them sometimes. Mdaybe the Travel + Leisure poll column is older?
This second column is about how the Democratic machine in this city wants you to vote for whoever the hell they want, which is how political machines work, but Stu isn’t having it. Anyway, apparently Jack Kelly’s I love puppies campaign worked on at least one person: “But a vote for Oh, in effect, may deprive Kelly of a vote, and since he’s Council’s leading animal advocate, I must vote for him.”
Chris Brennan: Some woman’s house was stolen and the dude who stole it is all, “Yo, I’ll give her some money, look how generous I am!”
John Baer: Hey, here’s how Vince Fumo can get off.
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dmac | 9:29 AM | 1 Comment
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Oct
22
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Chris Brennan: PGW sucks.
Deborah Leavy: Philadelphia mainly puts black men to death — whoops! Good thing this isn’t important, like people’s lives or something.
John Baer: The pro-war Democratic party didn’t end the war? No way!
Michael Smerconish: Good idea, open this column with “Mission accomplished.” Because the last time somebody (Smerc’s hero President Bush) used that, it went so well.
Stu Bykofsky: This column is so awesome I have to do a whole post about it later.
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dmac | 9:45 AM | 0 Comments
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Sep
24
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Deborah Leavy: People can get things online they can’t see on television.
Chris Brennan: The mayor got tax deadbeats to finally pay their bill. One of those deadbeats: The mayor.
Stu Bykofsky: Yeah, I was wondering what Fred Sherrrrrrman experienced on D-Day. Hey, the word “bullshit” made it in the column, though, bitches!
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dmac | 9:25 AM | 2 Comments
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Sep
18
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Chris Brennan: Ooh, a tailgating follow-up story.
Elmer Smith: A column about OJ without any OJ jokes. Guh?
Ronnie Polaneczky: Yeah, those old people who had their grandson taken away still don’t have him back. Sorry, kid!
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dmac | 9:15 AM | 0 Comments
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Sep
17
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Stu Bykofsky: Here are five of the 75 greatest living Philadelphians. So, uh, 14 more columns to go!
John Baer: Pennsylvania turned down free money.
Chris Brennan: Ahh, now you can’t save extra spaces for tailgating and parking costs more. All part of a fan-friendly experience!
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dmac | 9:29 AM | 0 Comments
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