Bob Brady Saves Americans From Crappy Chinese Souvenirs

Bob Brady didn’t end up a total loser when he lost in the mayoral primary back in ‘07. As head of the House Administration Committee (”The Mayor of Capitol Hill”), Brady wields a decent amount of power, especially now with a Democratic president.

But while Bob Ney renamed french fries to get back at France while in the position, Bob Brady has now focused his ire on foreign nations that make crap that should, in all seriousness, really be American made. Specifically, Brady put a ban on foreign-made trinkets in the Capitol Hill gift shops. Let’s get a quote from WHYY:

“We told them right away that we don’t want anybody coming to our nation’s capital visiting our visitors center to come away with a gift of the Capitol dome, the White House, whatever it may be with something that says ‘made in China.’ I think that is absolutely ludicrous. I have tremendous support from my colleagues [who agree that] coming to Washington to get a trinket that is made in China makes absolutely, positively no sense.”

Truly, a change is gonna come. ‘HYY reports thousands of dollars worth of merchandise is now in storage ready to be shipped back overseas, and Brady says there is brand-new, super-patriotic American crap ready for vendors to purchase. God Bless America.

Congressman Brady bans “Made in China” souvenirs from Capitol gift shop [Y Decide]

Chinese Millionaires And Porn

A reader sends in this screenshot from the front of Philly.com earlier. And what great stories: Chinese millionaires turned away by the Convention Center and Comcast’s signing of some anti-child porn code. See, sometimes there is exciting news in the summer.

Also awesome: Chinese millionaires have invested $3 million in Stephen Starr’s Continental Midtown.

Vick, B*rbaro Stories Converge In (Where Else?) China

Today in the Courier Times, diminutive 76ers guard Lou Williams says he supports Michael Vick, who will be sentenced next month for his guilty plea in a dogfighting case. You know, he’s not into dogfighting, but Vick attended his high school games when Vick was on the Falcons and Williams was a high schooler in the ATL, so he hopes he can get his life back on track once he’s out of jail. (Horse people, of course, want him executed.)

Anyway, ever since the Michael Vick dogfighting story broke, I’ve been using a joke about how the sport (uh, whatever) I really want to see is horsefighting. It combines the brutality of horse racing and dogfighting with the gambleability of, well, horse racing and dogfighting.

Turns out, like most cool things in this country, horsefighting is made in China. Yes, Britain’s Telegraph. According to the paper, the sport has been celebrated for over five hundred years in China and is even on some tourists’ itineraries!

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Bucks County Man Admits TRYING TO SELL MISSILES TO CHINA

Y’know, as a businessman or woman, the way to the top usually includes illegally selling missile parts to China. No, wait, I’m sorry, I’m reading the handbook wrong. You’re not supposed to illegally sell missile parts to an oppressive, U.S.-hating country unless they’re one of those oppressive, U.S.-hating countries we’re friends with right now. And, even then, you probably have to fill out a form or something.

That didn’t stop one Richboro man, though, from attempting to illegally sell missile parts to China. (What did we just tell you?!) Michael Dorfman admitted his role in the scheme yesterday in Newark.

The parts, though, didn’t reach China, as they were discovered by customs agents in 2004 in Port Elizabeth. The copmany Dorfman was vice president of, State Metal Industries, faces a $250,000 fine, while Dorfman himself faces five years in prison.

The parts will be melted down for scrap, while the Chinese totally just filed a dispute claim with eBay, since they never got their missiles.

Camden Company Admits Attempt To Sell Missile Parts To China [NBC 10]

Poll of the Century

Okay, now I make fun of a lot of media on this site. A lot. But I like, or even love, almost all of it. But whoever did this:

Should seriously be punished. In public, if possible.

Chinese Stock Up On Adult Diapers For Busy Holiday [AP via NBC 10]

Temple students, the answer to all of China’s problems

An editorial in the current issue of the Temple News bashes China’s plan to vaccinate all 5.2 billion birds in the country. Far be it from me to, well, know anything about said Chinese plan. At first glance it seems a bit impossible to do.

What I do know, however, is when I want think “commentary on China domestic policy” I immediately think “Temple News.” (Yes, newspapers are even italicized in my thoughts.) And I think that this is a good plan:

China consumes 14 billion domestically-grown poultry each year. Maybe the country’s manpower should focus on increasing the number of birds consumed. That way all supposedly infected birds will be eaten, thus eliminating the avian flu problem altogether and relieving China of their excess fowl population.

I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a snarky tongue-in-cheek comment. If it is, I’m kind of disappointed. I think eradicating bird flu by eating all the birds is probably the smartest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about anything.

Egg Hunt [Temple News]
Photo by Thomas Hawk