Phillies Win Pennant, Save World

Local news media is pretty much incredible whenever a local team makes it far in the postseason. The Daily News is no exception:

BASEBALL DOESN’T symbolize America. It IS America.

It’s ballparks and barbecues, luck and genetics, strikeouts and home runs, hot dogs and Bud, diamond dust and bright lights, dugouts and stands, slumps and redemption, heartbreak and heart.

It’s Babe Ruth. Hometown Heroes. “Field of Dreams.”

America needs its soul now more than any other time since the Great Depression. Our 401(k)s have tanked and groceries and gas go on credit. We can’t afford cars for ourselves and college for our children. If we haven’t lost our jobs and homes, we fear we could.

We need to believe again.

And Wednesday night, the Phillies restored the American Dream.

I mean, the repo man was about to take all my stuff, and then, pow!, the Phillies won and all of a sudden there’s more credit in this town than there is humidity. Some dude on the street this morning just gave me a $10,000 loan randomly. And my hypothetical children are now in college!

What Do Illicit Drug Users, Pets And Children…

EPA spokeswoman Virginia Thompson said instead of flushing pills, people should mix them with old coffee grinds and throw them away so they are not attractive to children, pets or garbage-sifting illicit drug users.

To Flush Or Not To Flush? [NBC 10]

Philly Newspapers Hate Kids

The newspapers, always attempting to get hip and with it, revealed their true colors in their endorsements. Both the Inquirer and Daily News urged readers to vote “no” for Ballot Question 3, which would create a youth commission for children ages 12 to 23.

Children in the youth commission would be appointed by the mayor and city councilpeople. The 12 year olds would get to throw temper tantrums in the middle of council while the 23 year olds will get to sleep with single councilmen. It would cost $250,000 and would allow rich contributors’ kids to write about their experiences and put it on their resumes.

The Inquirer called the proposal “silly.” The DN rejected it also. We’ve always known the two papers hate children, but do they have to be so obvious about it?

RECAPPING OUR ENDORSEMENTS [Daily News]
Editorial | Vote No on Ballot Question 2 [Inquirer]

DHS Continues Its Bang-Up Job

Last Sunday, the Inquirer reported on neglectful behavior at DHS. A few days later, DHS head Cheryl Ransom-Garner was gone as well as her deputy.

And so, on Friday when Ransom-Garner resigned, the Department of Human Services workers walked out on the job in protest (and to get an early start on the weekend). In the rush of all the traffic-blocking and writing on the office boxtops with protest signs — clearly, the oppressed have risen up — you think the DHS workers would, y’know, make sure all the… kids… were…

“We have 1,500 workers in a total uproar,” said Rita Urwitz, in the crowd outside City Hall. “Hopefully nothing serious happens to a child this afternoon.”

AAAAAAAAAAGGGG !@($*&@#)($*#&)(@$*@$@ Idiots!

Hundreds of DHS workers walk out in protest
Archives: Department of Human Services