Porn Triumphs In New Jersey

It’s been just over a year since I wrote about Cherry Hill’s never-ending battle against smut, and with good reason. Cherry Hill has been defeated by smut in a rout, and even the group fighting against “smut” has this message on its website’s messageboard: “Sexy Models and Beauty Queens looking for Sugar Daddy!”

Absolutely, 100 percent total loss hasn’t stopped everyone, though. Today the Courier-Post tell us the fight is “heating up” and gets the relevant quotes:

“The mayor will continue to fight against the invasion of deviant businesses and the sale of explicit material from corrupting our strong neighborhoods and family values in Cherry Hill,” said township spokesman Dan Keashen.

Of course, this deviant business blocking comes with a price. Cherry Hill Township’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $225,000 to the businesspeople blocked from opening an adult video store. But the township hasn’t signed the order, so it’s going to cost a lot more than that in the end.

Smut Lands Strong Right Hook On Cherry Hill

Cherry Hill’s heroic fight against smut appears to have hit a snag yesterday, as the town’s council approved four zones in town where adult businesses can legally be located.

The dispute started when an adult video store was slated to open on Route 70. Neighbors who live near to Route 70 didn’t want it there, so they complained until porn shops were pretty much banned from any spot in the city. This is against the constitution, and the adult video store owner Jim Restaino sued, and so yesterday the four zones where an adult biz can be located were created. And now the people who live near those four zones are pissed.

They’re so pissed, they’ve made the awesome graphics you see above.

And at least one person is asking, well, why can’t it just be on Route 70 after all:

Alexius Steinman said Restaino should be allowed to open his Romantic Video & Boutique at the Route 70 location. “By putting it in a safe area, you’re going to attract safe clientele,” said Steinman. Steinman, who frequents Restaino’s Mount Laurel location, described the store as “very clean, very tidy, well lit and well staffed,” which makes female customers such as herself and other responsible adults who like to experiment sexually feel comfortable. Put these stores in industrial parks and on back roads and the result will be less desirable people, she said before the meeting.

Ahh, constitutional freedom to experiment sexually. God Bless America. Now when are the Cherry Hill residents going to open up that website taking photos of all the adult video store’s customers? I’d like to get on it.

Council approves porn zone ordinance [Camden Courier-Post]
Archives: Cherry Hill vs. Smut

Leftovers: Philly, By Way Of Bristol

• The New York Times did a little travel piece on Philadelphia in yesterday’s issue; here’s the article and the corresponding video. Your job as a Philadelphian is to read these articles and get unnecessarily angry at something the Times wrote or filmed. Best part of the video: When Philly’s status as an “art city” is spoken about, the Dirty Frank’s mural is shown. [NYT]

• Ahh, yes, it’s Cyber Monday, the day when Internet businesses tell us that today is the day when everyone shops online and the news media follows suit with a billion stories about how everyone is shopping! Online! Whee! [KYW 1060]

• Wilkes-Barre: Not in the Poconos. The town’s residents sure to love legalized gambling, though! [Daily News]

• The longtime mayor of Bath, Pennsylvania, has been arrested for stealing $9k from the Roman Catholic church she was secretary of. To toss her out of office would be like throwing the baby out.. oh, nevermind. [AP/6 ABC]

• The Willow Grove Mall was evacuated Saturday after a fire started in a women’s clothing store on the third floor. No one was hurt, but 10 pairs of Steve Maddens were not so lucky. [Doylestown Intelligencer]

• Cherry Hill’s township council has canceled a vote concerning some sort of new porn shop ordinance. Gasp! What exciting turn will this story take next? [Camden Courier-Post]

• Update, 5:50 p.m.: The Phillies have signed free agent pitcher Adam Eaton to a three-year deal worth around eight mil a year, or one million per earned run he’ll give up per nine innings this season with the Phils’ luck. [ESPN.com]

Leftovers: Bianca Ryan Well On Way To Catching Tupac

• Jonathan Takiff checks in with America’s Got Talent winner Bianca Ryan today and finds her hard at work on her second album. Wait, how many albums did Janis Joplin record when she was alive? [Daily News]

• Live in Pennsylvania? All your road taxes are going up. And think, this report on transit was released just after the election. Who knew? [AP/6 ABC]

• Some voting machines in Bucks County and Montco featured a “No Vote” button, showing that you were all into the civic process, but all of the candidates running had the governing ability of a snail. Hey, can we get these for Philadelphia? [KYW 1060]

• Cherry Hill lands a deadly blow in the Cherry Hill vs. Smut war. Money quote: “They tear down the moral and spiritual fiber of America and should be banned.” [Camden Courier-Post]

If Ashcroft Was Still Attorney General, Maybe

It’s been a little bit since we all looked at the Cherry Hill porn shop, i.e. Cherry Hill residents upset that a shop selling porn and sex toys is going to open in their town.

Since we last saw our heroes and heroines making the charge against porn, they’ve opened an official website, which includes the graphic at right. (Apparently, their membership includes chefs, architects (or something) and jobs that require suits! The Camden County freeholders have also spoken up against the porn shop.

Not to pick on the smut-hatin’ New Jerseyans, but the group’s newest tactic, posted to the group’s messageboard, might not help all that much, unfortunately for them:

In the meantime, I have chosen my own route with the inspiration of our community- with the many emails and fantastic ideas from our members, I sat down this morning and wrote a letter to the White house- as Sean mentioned this should be a state wide law not just a community law. We need to go above all heads and target this for all states and communities who are exposed to this type of set up in their own neighborhoods. We are FED UP- and if enough letters get to the white house, we will be guarantee’d that at least one of them will be read and considered.

Please write a letter and send it to the following.

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC 20500

Yeah, I’m sure the president will get right on it. He routinely weighs in on local NIMBY affairs.

Camco freeholders seek to stop sex shop’s opening [Camden Courier-Post]

Cherry Hill Residents Continue Heroic Fight Against Store Planning To Sell Vibrators To Single Girls

Yesterday, Cherry Hill mayor Bernie Platt gave his surprise new plan to stop the porn store that’s causing such an uproar.

And his new plan? Well… turns out… he doesn’t have one. Yes, despite holding a rally near the store’s proposed location, and saying he was going to have a new plan (or, at least that’s what Action News said), he simply spouted off random cliches such about saving the children and drawing lines in sand:

“On behalf of our residents, our children and grandchildren, I am drawing a line in the sand and announcing that this township’s government will vigorously fight the presence of such a moral blight on our community and its values.”

Children, values, moral blight. Yep, he’s got all the talking points down. Residents, though, aren’t all that happy with the mayor, since he’s still sort of talking in generalities and not coming up with any ideas for action, aside from drawing lines in metaphorical sand.

On their Yahoo! message board, the residents — who are “together” against “smut” (fun word!) — are chronicling their problems with the Geocities website they’ve been unable to keep up. But, they’re making plans for a new one — they even wrote a “check,” whatever that is — and, hopefully, if the store opens they’ll make good on that promise to photograph everyone going in.

I plan to stand right next to them, handing out free t-shirts with this site’s URL on the back. Hey, you can’t beat that kind of publicity.

Cherry Hill Together [Yahoo!]
Cherry Hill joins fight against adult video store [Camden Courier Post]
Yesterday: Cherry Hill Wants Pervs, Single Women, All Men Out

Cherry Hill Wants Pervs, Single Women, All Men Out

Brace yourselves, Cherry Hill residents: A porn shop is opening in your town! Ooooh, scary.

Well, wait, you already knew, since youse have been protesting since first getting word of the possible store. Romantic Video and Boutique wants to open a location on Route 70, but Cherry Hill has an ordinance banning adult stores within a million feet (or something) of schools and bus stops, and therefore have essentially banned such stores. The owner is suing, blah blah blah. You know the drill, right?

The mayor said he would fight the store if it “means lying down in front of Route 70.” Of course, some residents don’t think the mayor has done enough, so hey’ve come up with another plan:

And it appears the township and residents are taking the gloves off. If the courts rule the adult store can go in, they plan to photograph those who go into it and post the pictures on a yet to be made website. Mayor Platt says the website will be run by residents, but the township is in the process of hiring an attorney.

It’s official: Cherry Hill spends its tax dollars better than any other community in the country. The mayor has a new plan — blow up the building? ban sex stores within 100 miles of the mayor? — that he’ll be unveiling at a job-saving (he hopes, at least) press conference later today. Good to see we all still have a really healthy attitude toward sex in this country.

Community Fights Porn Shop Opening [6 ABC]
Residents fight adult video store [Camden Courier Post]
Mayor to discuss adult bookstore plan [Camden Courier Post]