Ryan Priests Sad To Have Competition

Priest/little boy NAMBLA-esque mashups are kind of like steroids in baseball: Everybody knew it was there, but nobody really talked about it or cared. Then, whoops!, now the Catholic Church has a bunch of lawsuit settlements and charged priests, including one who I served mass for but never really talked to me.

(This is when someone annoying on the Internet comes up and points out accused molestor and former president of Archbisop Ryan Rev. Charles Newman is an ephebophile. This is when I tell that person to shut up. I only care about semantic differences where it’s important, like the one between an end around and a reverse.)

Perhaps it’s kind of clear Archbishop Ryan might not have the healthiest attitude toward sex. So who do they bring in to teach the kids sex-ed? Why, noted sex experts Golden Girl from Power 99 and Colby Cole from 100.3 The Beat! What, Angelo Cataldi wasn’t available?

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Friday Morning Image Mixup Fun

And then he used the money to make himself look like Alycia Lane, like that creepy MTV show? Weird.

Yes, if you’re wondering, I used to go to this man’s masses.

D.A.: Priest from Ryan stole 900G [Daily News]