Popular Salesman Arrested

Salesman Edward Stern was arrested yesterday. His clientèle was highly upset, wondering just where they were going to get their goods without him around anymore.

The clientèle, of course, were drug buyers, and Stern was arrested and charged with weapons violations, possession of drugs with the intent to deliver and possession of an instrument of crime.

He also worked at a cell phone store in Mayfair. Although his coworkers knew of his checkered past — “Stern and his ‘Ugly Squad’ cohorts took significant losses in 2005, when cops raided their posh Wissinoming lairs and confiscated $1.3 million, 11 kilograms of cocaine and six live alligators” — they didn’t know he was allegedly still selling drugs.

But maybe they should have:

The ordeal was mystifying and frightening for Stern’s boss at the cell-phone shop, Johnny Dax. “He was a great worker,” said Dax, 34. “He was here every day from noon to 8 p.m.

“Nobody ever had a problem with him. In fact, the customers loved him.”

Yeah, the customers usually love the workers at cheapo cell phone stores.

Static on his cell [Daily News]

Leftovers: JGT, RPS Champ

• I got a call on Saturday night when I was heading out the door from a friend. “Hey, we were just at the Rock Paper Scissors championship,” he said. “Guess who won?” I asked if he did. “No, Johnny Goodtimes! He won a thousand dollars!” I’m not positive on this, but normal people do not receive these kinds of calls. [Johnny Goodtimes]

• A Montco lawmaker wants to ban cell phone use while driving. Then, he’s going to ban riding a motorcycle without talking on your cell at the same time. [KYW 1060]

• Sorry, A.I. haters! Ed Snider did not order a trade of the Lilliputian 76ers guard, although he did tell Billy King to stop signing shitty players. [Daily News]

• A rare copy of the Emancipation Proclamation — as opposed to the ones just floating around — was moved to the African American Museum for a Juneteenth celebration. Accompanying it were impersonators of Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass and Lucretia Mott. How does one go about hiring a Lucretia Mott impersonator? Are they in high demand? [Inky]

• Oh, yeah: The Yankees are in town this week. Uh oh. [Beerleaguer]

Blogicized: Non-cute puppy edition

• Are you a Pennsylvania blogger? Want to be on that channel that occassionally shows up instead of the preview one and shows the state legislature and state championship basketball games? Your lifelong dream, eh? Really? Okay, well, you can. [PCNblog via PSoTD]

• Want all your last-minute gifts to be Philadelphia-themed? Oh, really. You do? Okay. Then here’s a list of last minute Philadelphia-themed gifts. [Philly Future]

• I don’t know if this is an actual overheard cell phone conversation, but after reading it, I want to believe. [Starting a Landslide in My Ego]

• And, finally: Penn’s stupid “Page 217″ essay question referenced in Doonesbury. I mean, uhh, amazing essay question that got me into college. Yeah, that’s it. [via The West End]