Rendell Gives Greenlight To Speeding

Way back in 2004, the Daily News broke the story Ed Rendell had been clocked going over 100 miles per hour in his limo several times. (This led to a running Joe Conklin gag, who had the governor saying things like, “I’m gonna leave East Falls at 12:15, and make to Pittsburgh by quarter-to-one for the game.”)

Rendell apologized (I guess) back in ‘04 and later a state police probe — of course! — said Rendell’s driver should only speed when it was an emergency. While he may not be clockin’ 100 mph anymore, he’s sure driving faster than 55. The guv told the Patriot-News, “I’ve told my troopers that I don’t want them exceeding 80 unless they need to pass or unless there’s some real exigent circumstance.”

Sweet! Eighty! Rendell then laid down this bombshell:

“We do the appropriate speed,” Rendell said. “Sometimes we adhere to the speed limit, sometimes we don’t. On many of Pennsylvania’s highways, if you adhered to the speed limit, you’d be a safety hazard.”

You see? The governor is authorizing speeding. Just, y’know, don’t go above 80. Seventy-five is safer than 55, but 81 is just plain dangerous.

Sometimes Rendell feels need for speed [Patriot-News]

Area Man Heroically Defrauds Nic Cage

Newtown Square’s Peter Brotman was sentenced to five years in prison yesterday for scamming $2 million from classic car owners. (And also, apparently, running some sort of “classic Ponzi scheme.”) He sold people’s classic cars, but never paid them, which is a pretty interesting scam. Gee! How could he ever get caught with a bulletproof scheme like this!

It wasn’t all bad, though. Among the victims was actor Nicholas Cage, who lost $300,000 on the sale of three Ferraris and a Cobra. Now, Cage is an alright actor — though he did even manage to overact when the World Trade Center fell on top of him — but, eh… three classic cars? And not just three cars, but three cars he could sell! That means he probably has about 10 of ‘em.

Now, I don’t know how many classic cars, say, Philip Seymour Hoffman or Edward Norton have, but I assume they don’t have three to sell. If those guys had 10 classic cars, that’s fine. They’re great actors. But the star of Ghost Rider and Face/Off? One classic car, at most.

And don’t get me started on Jay Leno.

So good job, Mr. Brotman. Too bad your scam was pretty simple to find out since, uh, all you did was sell these people’s cars and didn’t give them the money. Next time, just punch Nic Cage in the stomach or something.

Local Man Sentenced for Scamming Rich, Famous [6 ABC]

In Philadelphia, Everyone’s A Thug Nowadays

When writing about crime, it’s apparently officialy Daily News policy to use the word “thug” as much as possible. (”Punk” also works in a pinch.)

I’m not quite sure why. “Philadelphia thugs murdered a woman today.” Do we really need a pejorative to describe the men who murdered someone? Isn’t saying they murdered someone enough? Apparently, though, it’s not just murderers and rapists who enjoy the thug life:

Since November, investigators said, they’ve counted at least nine vehicles stolen from garages used by the Marriot Courtyard, across from City Hall, the Kennedy House apartment building on John F. Kennedy Boulevard near 19th Street, and various other valet lots.

Cops said it is common practice for current and former downtown-garage attendants to either rent out the cars to their friends in outside neighborhoods, or to just joyride in the vehicles, while customers are at work or out on the town. [...]

So far, police said, they’ve nabbed two thugs out driving the cars stolen from the Marriot garage at 12th and Filbert streets. Officers found one man cruising around North Philadelphia. The other was caught driving in Maryland.

I can’t wait to see what gets the thug label next. Petty larceny? Thug! Spitting on the sidewalk? Thug! Stealing the mail? Thug! I suppose it could go the other way, too, as Osama Bin Laden will be described as a “terrorist thug” in an editorial.

In other news, one of the cars these thugs stole was a Dodge Neon. Because when you have a whole lot full of cars to choose from, you just gotta take the best one.

Valet-park crimes cited [Daily News]

Reason #43 To Love Philadelphia: Our Kindness (Again)

And yet no one has brutally attacked those puppets, anyone responsible for the production of the ad, nor anyone who works at a television station that airs these ads. (The Phillycars.com ads are Citizen Kane compared to this.) I don’t know how anyone can say Philadelphians aren’t nice.

See also: Fitter, Bath.

Nov. 29: Reason #9

Let’s See… 15 Miles… In One Hour…

A letter in Friday’s Camden Courier Post speaking out against a proposed rush hour seat belt checkpoint:

Drivers need a wake up call? There is nothing wrong with a seatbelt checkpoint. But rush hour at a major trouble spot is not the time or the place to do it.

Drivers in a last-minute rush? Exactly how much time should one allow for a 15-mile drive? If it takes an hour to go 15 miles, the driver is traveling at an average speed of 4 mph, a lot less than the 65 mph speed limit on Route 55.

We are entitled to a reasonable expectation of a safe and timely arrival at work in the morning. There are plenty of unavoidable occurrences that happen that must be planned for, but a traffic jam caused purposely and with absolutely no regard for the majority of law-abiding, seatbelt-wearing and not last-minute commuters is just wrong.

Hey, new math.

Avoid road jams [Camden Courier-Post]

Rendell Is Going To Lose His Thumbs

Ed Rendell’s 20-point win in the election is good for him, but not so good for his wallet:

The governor admitted yesterday that in a moment of weakness in February, he made a bet with his 26-year-old son, Jesse, while they were at the Philadelphia International Auto Show. Jesse Rendell said his father would win the election with more than 60 percent of the vote. Gov. Rendell said no way.

In front of them was “this beautiful teal Aston Martin convertible,” Rendell said, so he took a gamble: if his son were right, he’d buy him the sleek British sports car.

Yesterday afternoon, with 99 percent of precincts reporting, the governor had 2,414,541 votes - or 60 percent. [...]

His wife, Midge - U.S. Third Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Marjorie O. Rendell - is currently negotiating a compromise.

Ohh, trying to get out of it, Ed? Well we’re the Swift Boat Gambling Veterans For Truth, and we want you to hold up the end of your bet! Ahem. Real governors don’t get their wives to negotiate a compromise.

Ridin’ Shotgun In My Dodge

Have you ever been ready to purchase a car only to think to yourself, “Hmm. I’d buy this car, but only if I can get a free shotgun with my purchase.”

Only every single time you buy a car, right? Well, a car dealership in Chester County, Country Dodge Chrysler Jeep, has made everyone’s wishes come true by offering a coupon for a free shotgun when you purchase an SUV of equal or greater value.

This has upset some people, including a local resident! Anabella Hampton is upset because the western Chester County dealership is only 15 miles from the site of the Amish school shooting in Nickel Mines. And if the Amish buy cars and get free guns with them, none of us are safe.

The dealership countered that the deal was almost over, and that it was almost out of certificates anyway, so nyaah. That didn’t please Hampton, who said:

“I mean, what’s next, a semi-automatic with the purchase of a house?”

Let’s hope so. That’d be killer. But, eh, I don’t know about this car dealership deal. As much as I’d like a shotgun, I don’t think these cars have any place for me to plug in my guitar.

Car Dealer Includes Free Gun With SUVs [NBC 10]
Volkswagen First Act Slash ad [YouTube]

Leftovers: You Say Upside-Down Pie, I Say Tomato Pie

• The Daily News otherwise outstanding article about tomato pies at Tony’s in Mayfair and other fine pizza places did omit Merc Brothers on the Boulevard. A letter to the editor is forthcoming. [Daily News]

• Get the rid of a drug dealer without selling any drugs! Start your own business? No way! Just pick up a cheap car at Bristol’s drug kingpin car auction, this Friday and Saturday. Bids as low as $20! (No, really.) [NBC 10]

• A study says that a bachelor’s degree is worth about $23,000 a year. Sweet. Or, if you’re a professional blogger, $23,000 less than that. [AP/CBS 3]

• A report out of New York City blames the free daily papers, including the esteemed Metro, for subway flooding. SEPTA hears this, comes up with a great idea for an excuse this winter. [N.Y. Sun]

• And, finally, Tara Reid is blaming her dating woes on her boob job. Yeah, I’m totally stealing that excuse. [NBC 10]

A Hole Grows In Fishtown

Fishtown: If the hipsters don’t get you, the sinkholes will.

New SUV Fished From Sinkhole [NBC 10]

Actually, This Sounds Kind Of Awesome

Are you a local blogger not currently employed by, say, a newspaper? If so, Traffic.com wants you:

Are you a witty and enthusiastic writer looking for an AMAZING summer gig?

Traffic.com is looking for an experienced blogger to write from the road during a two week promotional road trip, beginning in Philadelphia and ending in Los Angeles.

Blogger will be responsible for posting daily entries. Content should include interviews with commuters, local event coverage, traffic reporting, etc. Trip will begin around July 7th and end approximately July 21st.

MUST have previous blogging experiece–preferably an active blog with loyal readership.

We’re looking in your direction, Albert Yee!

Blogger/Adventurer for Cross-Country Trip [Craigslist]
Photo by Mike 626, licensed via Creative Commons