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Jan
7
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Jill Porter: Running a “carriage house” with no heat and all? Not really the best thing for a landlord to do.
Dave Davies: If everyone just goes to the FBI every time there’s a corrupt politician in town, how many politicians are we going to have left in Philadelphia? None, people. Actually, hey, perfect idea.
Carol Towarnicky: Hey, this issue I’m going to write about? It’s all about the kids, that’s what I care about. First time anybody’s done something for the children, I know.
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dmac | 9:59 AM | 0 Comments
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Feb
6
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John Baer: Obama’s gonna win; you heard it here first!
Jill Porter: Why aren’t you women voting for Hillary! Famous historical footnote Geraldine A. Ferraro would be ashamed.
Carol Towarnicky: I’m glad that the Daily News has taken time out to refute the idea of “ex-gays.” Hopefully next they can expose that the Nazis didn’t do 9/11!
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dmac | 9:27 AM | 0 Comments
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Jan
23
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Jill Porter: Apparently, picking up a nun for a ride is a dangerous activity.
Carol Towarnicky: Hey, pro-lifers who are for contraceptives, what a novel idea!
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dmac | 9:07 AM | 0 Comments
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Dec
26
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Jill Porter: For some reason, I hope people are chagrined by Andy Reid’s lawyer-approved column in Phillymag.
Chris Brennan: Ha, it’s not just the West Philly El project that has SEPTA annoying people. SEPTA does it on Jenkintown rail tracks, too! Oh, and people there lie.
Carol Towarnicky: Sorry, Carol, I went to church on Christmas, and I don’t know if I can deal with Christianity again for a little bit.
Fatimah Ali: “I instinctively get mad when a homeless person approaches me[.]” It seems kind of weird to get mad; wouldn’t you be mad like every time you walk through Center City? That’s no way to have a good day.
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dmac | 10:36 AM | 0 Comments
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Dec
12
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Jill Porter: Thanks to Jill Porter and her band of outraged idiots, Hershey’s is going to change its crack candy. Now Porter will be able to concentrate about actual problems about policing drugs, such as how black men make up only 14 percent of drug users but 74 percent of those in prison for drug possession. Ha ha, just kidding, she’s going to complain about violent video games or something.
Carol Towarnicky: Who the hell is Bill O’Reilly?
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dmac | 8:30 AM | 2 Comments
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Nov
28
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Jill Porter: Ooh, Sly Johnson sure is being a jerk, or something.
Carol Towarnicky: Here’s what some person thinks is a good way for peace in the Middle East. Yeah, that’s never going to happen.
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dmac | 9:08 AM | 0 Comments
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Nov
14
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Carol Towarnicky: Hey, the Amish school shooting, yeah, that was like an event that happened a while back.
Jill Porter: 10 rhetorical questions!
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dmac | 9:38 AM | 0 Comments
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Nov
1
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Ronnie Polaneczky: Rarr, I think we should have public executions!
Stu Bykofsky: Watch as this old fogey attempts to cover the high-tech presidential debate!
Carol Towarnicky: Wait, so Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week wasn’t a fair analysis of Islam? And when’s Christianofascism Awareness Week?
Michael Smerconish: “In short, ‘vajayjay’ has got us thinking outside of the box, which makes the feminists nervous.” Somebody explain to me what moon women Michael Smerconish is writing this article about because I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about.
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dmac | 9:28 AM | 8 Comments
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Oct
17
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Carol Towarnicky: Ooh, the second of two columns on what the Bible says about homosexuality!
Jill Porter: Here’s an interview with Stabby McKnife.
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dmac | 9:04 AM | 6 Comments
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