Send Your Pictures To Dear Old Charles Barkley

Last night’s PBS program Philly’s Favorite Kids Show Hosts was indeed awesome. In fact, I can’t believe Happy the Clown isn’t on anymore!

But, the highlight of the program (for me) — besides learning many times that “there is no footage of this” — was this Captain Noah interview with Charles Barkley. Because of course Sir Charles would be on Captain Noah! I also left in the Phillie Phanatic part, to remind everyone who the Phanatic’s godparents are.

The program’s on a bunch more times this month.

Philly’s Favorite Kids Show Hosts [WHYY-TV]

Capt. Noah Is No President Clinton

The Daily News Dan Gross moves off the Ivanka Trump beat and chats with Captain Noah today.

Noah, along with Sally Starr, Wee Willie Webber, Gene London, and the late Chief Halftown, will be profiled tonight on Philly’s Favorite Kids Show Hosts, which premieres tonight at 8 p.m. on Channel 12 and will have to be done really poorly to not be the most awesomest documentary of the year.

But Gross also corrects a post of ours from back in January, which concerned Captain Noah receiving a little fun from Mrs. Noah underneath the table during tapings. (Okay, say it with me now, it’s not a dirty word: a blowjob.)

Gross writes:

Captain and Mrs. Noah held their own during a very funny interview on WMMR’s (93.3-FM) “Preston and Steve” show in January.

The Captain was surprised when we told him the radio hosts and some bloggers seemed to have read a little more than he had intended into a story he shared about Mrs. Noah hiding under a table tickling him.

“Mrs. Noah never went higher than my knee,” her husband of 60-plus years said with a chuckle.

Hmm, I dunno. I know a blowjob story when I hear one, especially if I didn’t actually hear it and Citizen Mom just gave me the gist of it, and that sounded like a blowjob story to me.

Anyway: I apologize to Capt. Noah for thinking he was cool, man.

Dan Gross | Captain Noah returning to the kid biz [Daily News]
Jan. 12: Preston, Steve, Cpt. Noah Retroactively Ruin Childhoods

Preston, Steve, Cpt. Noah Retroactively Ruin Childhoods

This morning on WMMR’s Preston and Steve show, they had a very special guest in Captain Noah. The old Philadelphia children’s show host reminisced about his days telling kids to send in their pictures to dear old him.

He also decided to clue us in on he and Mrs. Noah’s fetishes (courtesy of Citizen Mom):

Remember how, on the Magical Ark, the Captain would finish making a craft and then the garbage-eating hand puppet would come up and take away all the trash and paper scraps? Well, live on the radio this morning, the Captain said it was Mrs. Noah under the table working that puppet. And sometimes — according to the Captain — things would get a little boring under there, so Mrs. Noah would while away the time, uh, “singing a rainbow” on the Captain’s mizzen mast. To hear him tell it, the ol’ Captain had trouble concentrating on those crepe-paper flowers. This is either the greatest thing I’ve ever heard or the single most psychologically damaging thing ever. Either way, Mrs. Noah is my new hero.

You know what, I’ll have to agree here: Mrs. Noah is also my new hero, too. I think. Just nobody tell me Larry Ferrari secretly banged some chick while he was playing the organ. That might be too much to handle.

If you see this Magical Ark rockin’, don’t come a’ knockin’ [Citizen Mom]