Today Is Not A Slow News Day

Police: Found Human Heart Really Jell-O [NBC 10]

There Is One In Delaware, Though

I was watching Law & Order, uh, well a few minutes ago, and Det. Green said a suspect had opened a bar “near Philly.” Now, L&O almost always uses real place names. And so, Briscoe and Green went down to this little burg right near our fair city.

Can Pennsylvania sue for defamation of character?

Camden Courthouse To Collapse In A Minute Or So

Got a leak in your apartment? Maybe a broken cabinet door? A slow drain? Maybe a mouse or two?

Well, you have nothing on the Parkade building in Camden.

This really can’t be contained in paragraph form, so — and I really hate to do this for the second article in a row, but — I have to go to charticle format. The Parkade building, which houses probation, juvenile and child-support offices, has:

• a leaky roof, leaving half of the top floor unusable.
• deteriorated to the point where you can see through a wall.
• concrete, metal and other tiles falling on workers from the ceilings.
• unreliable elevators that smell like urine and frequently break down.
• a worker who contracted Legionnaires’ disease.

More »

Camden School District Lays Off All Dead Employees

Hey, remember when a Camden school was charging kids to attend field trips even though the Board of Education paid for the trips in full?

Well here’s something a tiny bit better. Auditors hired by the state reported in January the school district had been paying people to teach after they had died. The district denied this charge yesterday, saying it was simply due to sloppy record keeping.

However, to make sure it doesn’t happen again/never happens, the school district has a plan:

The names of dead employees will be removed from the payroll database within 24 hours of notification.

Problem solved.

Camden schools: No dead people paid [Inquirer]
Did Camden Schools Rip Off School Kids? [1010 WINS]

89 Simple Rules For Testing My Teenage Daughter

Back in 2005, eight Camden high schools scored unusually high on the annual state achievement tests. Lots of teachers and staff were accused of wrongdoing, everybody denied it, some staff members resigned, some staff members were indicted on other issues, etc.

And so, this year, the state has a long list of 89 rules to make sure nobody cheats. In addition to locking down the school at test time, there’s also high-tech surveillance:

A “command center” at the district’s administration building is manned at 7 a.m. to distribute tests, and top administrators — armed with walkie-talkies — visit schools during testing.

The plan also calls for extensive staff training and the involvement of the state Department of Education, which is to be notified immediately if any testing materials are missing.

Geeze. Maybe we should get these guys to handle airport security or something.

Camden enacts 89 measures to stop cheaters [Camden Courier-Post]

Camden Very Slowly Catching Up To Philadelphia

In recent months, much attention has been lavished on Philadelphia’s fine neighbor to the east, Camden. 20/20 profiled the city in an unflattering light, there was a brawl at Camden High School and the city still ranks among the nation’s most dangerous.

And, yet, Thursday, March 8, was the date of Camden’s first homicide of the year. (It was, naturally, a double.) Philadelphia has (at least) 71 at this point.

The two men killed were originally thought to have died in a car accident, until investigators realized both men had been shot and killed before the car crashed. The 67-day homicide-free streak to start the year was the longest since at least 1980.

So what’s the deal? Camden is much smaller than Philly, but that disparity is pretty large. Maybe Philadelphia has better marksmen. Or maybe even Camden knows how to stop homicides while on this side of the river everyone twiddles their thumbs and waits for the new mayor to be elected.

Camden has first 2 homicides of year [Camden Courier-Post]
Waiting on the World to Change [ABCNews.com]

Leftovers: Boulevard Brouhaha

• City Council debated on how to fix Roosevelt Boulevard yesterday, and Brian O’Neill wants to shut the middle six lanes entirely. I guess the theory is, if traffic’s bumper-to-bumper all day, nobody can drive fast enough to hurt any pedestrians too bad. (The Daily News has a little more.) [Inquirer]

• The Daily News‘ David Gambacorta has more on Larry McGuigan, who shot a dancer in a strip club and then himself. The stripper, Harmony, is expected to make a full recovery. [Daily News]

• Camden’s principal was suspended (with pay, natch) over allegations he influenced grades for players on Camden’s 7-3, playoff-qualifyin’ football team. A student’s grandfather on a meeting he had with principal Al Davis: “He just kept chewing tobacco and wouldn’t listen to me.” [Camden Courier-Post]

• The Philly Park casino has no idea when it’s opening. [Bucks County Courier Times]

Camden Only Nation’s Fifth Most Dangerous

Citizens of Camden, rejoice! Last year’s second straight top spot in the Nation’s Most Dangerous Cities poll was apparently a wake-up call, because Camden has dropped to fifth on the list.

But that’s not all. Philly is 5th most dangerous among cities with a population of 500k or more, while Reading nabbed sixth in the 75k-100k category. On the safe side, Brick Township, N.J., was named safest city overall. State College was named the second safest metro area in the country, which proves that underage drinking really is a victimless crime.

But back to Camden. In lieu of a joke, I present to you Camden Mayor Gwendolyn Faison’s reaction, as quoted by the Camden Courier-Post: “You made my day! There’s a new hope and a new spirit.

Huzzah, Camden. Huzzah.

Top 25 Dangerous/Safest Cities [Morgan Quitno]
Camden gives up crime title [Camden Courier-Post]
Nov. 18, 2005: Camden: We’re #1! We’re #1!

10K Bribe A Waste Of Time For All Involved

Today’s Inquirer carries the tale of Ali Sloan El, a Camden County politico who is accused of accepting $10,000 in bribes.

Of course, unlike other politicians on the other side of the river who shall remain nameless, Sloan El told the Inky, “I’m guilty. I’m not going to waste the government’s money with a trial.”

Hey, now there’s some refreshing honesty from a politician. Sloan El, who is respected on the streets but has little power against Camden County’s Democratic machine (whatever that means), says he took the money but it went to a good cause: Beating his political opponents, i.e. the Camden County Democratic machine.

His lawyer says an indictment is not imminent, so Sloan El may have some time to continue to earn that all-important respect on the streets. Or, maybe, continue to not have it:

“I think he got caught up in a wider investigation of bigger, other fish in South Jersey,” his friend [Mark] Willis said. “To tell you the truth, for the FBI, catching Sloan El was like racing with an old lady on a walker. It was that easy.”

It was also a waste of time, Willis said. “I’m his friend, and even I can tell you that Sloan El couldn’t deliver on even a volunteer job, much less contracts.”

Hey, keep on fighting the good fight, Sloan El!

Why he accepted $10,000 bribe [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Dial M For Mom

• Here’s a mother to love: The one who allegedly said she was going to “kill all those kids one by one” at her child’s school. Wanting to the best for your kid is good, threatening to use lethal force to get it isn’t. [KYW 1060]

• Pitchfork rocks some Radiohead in Upper Darby last night. Verdict: Good, even though “Street Spirit” was disappointing. (With bonus photo from Jonathan Valania!) [Pitchfork]

• Peco has restored power to almost all of its customers. That was a tough few hours without air conditioning for a few suburbanites. Sadly, Clementon Park remains closed. [Inky]

• Apparently, Rolling Stone thinks the 2004 election was stolen by none other than President Bush. They also think that N*Sync is awesome! [Philly Future]

• Slate finally cracks The Barbaro Code. [Slate]