Unfit For Command: Obama Bowls 37

Yesterday, Barack Obama continued his bus tour across Pennsylvania with a stop in Altoona, home of the creepiest mascot in sports. He didn’t go to a Curve game, though; Obama went bowling!

And he bowled a 37. A 37! Some bowlers get as many points in one frame (30, for three consecutive strikes) as Barack Obama got in a game.

I’m not a good bowler, but we need our leaders to be the best in everything. What is Barack Obama going to do when Kim Jong-Il (an excellent golfer in his own right) calls him up at 3 a.m. and says he’s going to nuke the planet unless Obama scores a 50 down at the Thunderbird Lanes?

Pennsylvania Sen. Bob Casey was somehow even worse, apparently.

Clip Art Shows Gun Violence Who’s Boss

The clip art above is from a promo flier for Bowling Against Bullets (.pdf), an anti-bullet event being held at Lucky Strike Lanes on Nov. 30. (Personally, wouldn’t Bowling Over Bullets better? Plus you’ve got the BOB acronym; it’s kind of perfect. Somebody get me a consulting gig.)

The $30 event is attempting to stop the violence; whether it will do that or not, I cannot say. I can say, though, that the clip art of literally bowling against bullets is one of the finest marketing uses of Adobe Illustrator I have seen in years. Do you think the pins will actually be painted up to look like bullets on the 30th?

Dress code will “strictly” be enforced on the 30th, which bans sports jerseys, baggy clothes and “MC Colors.” Right.

We Talkin’ ‘Bout BOWLING!

Last night, the 76ers held an event for sponsors and premium-seat ticketholders at Lucky Strike Lanes on Chestnut Street. The entire team showed up, chatted with fans, played pool and presumably even bowled a little.

Oh, I’m sorry, one player didn’t show up. Was it Steve Smith? Kyle Korver? Another player with double initials? No, Allen Iverson. Oh, now why would the fans want to see him?

Iverson didn’t just miss the Lucky Strike charity event, though. Phil Jasner writers in the Daily News:

A source said Iverson was upset when he left practice earlier in the day, less than an hour after the 11 a.m. start at Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine.

After practice, Cheeks said Iverson had left early because he “was a little fatigued.” Asked whether Iverson had been upset, Cheeks said, “Whatever happened between him and me, I’d like to keep that private.”

Iverson is going to be fined for missing bowling. I prefer to think of his absence as a protest of Lucky Strike’s high prices. Yeah, that must be it.

A.I. faces fine for skipping team function; leaves practice early, too [Daily News]

‘Philly EDGE’ Continues The Awesome

Let’s bowl it out, bitches.

Philly EDGE

Overwritten Lead Of The Moment, Tragedy Edition

The lead to a story in today’s Bucks County Courier Times about the possible closing of Pike Lanes:

Sam Wilf survived Auschwitz.

But after running Pike Lanes in Southampton for 30 years with his wife and son, it looked like his business wouldn’t survive.

Bowling alley gets a spare [Bucks County Courier Times]

Blogicized: Eight-year-olds, Dude

• The great note in this Chuck Pennacchio Blog post about Rick Santorum’s book (a little late, isn’t it?): “On page 54, Santorum pauses for an odd meditation on the social benefits of bowling leagues.” Well, duh! After all, Jesus is a great bowler. [Pennacchio for Pennsylvania]

• Yesterday, South Street’s KFC was protested by PETA. There were fake “chicken” legs everywhere. [Phillyist]

• Whoa. You can get laid on Myspace? [Philebrity]

• And, by God, be careful with that iPod. [Blinq]