Hopefully Philly’s Casinos Will Have Such Amenities

Philly EDGE, whose streak of consecutive cute-girl covers is now at ∞, has a cover package on Philadelphia Park’s coming slots parlor and the already-open casino at Pocono Downs.

Bensalem’s Philadelphia Park — the former home of a horse who was way better than Barbaro, Smarty Jones — opens its casino on Tuesday, the 19th. (Or possibly the 21st.) The casino will offer “unlimited” free drinks from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. seven days a week and will have a steakhouse that will only serve the “finest Prime meats,” according to the article by Sarah Baicker.

The accompanying article, by Bucks County Courier Times writer James McGinnis, details a trip to the Luzerne County casino, which has virtually nobody under 50, waitresses in Denny’s lookalike uniforms and features an exchange by a couple in their 20s/30s who said the casino isn’t what they expected, i.e. not dressy, no young people, etc. But, of course, one of them said they’d be back, since, well: “There are not a lot of other things to do around here.”

Well put. Although the old-people vibe of the Pocono Downs casino is a drawback for the younger folk, there still is reason to go. McGinnis describes the “entertainment kiosk,” which, well… read for yourself:

A kiosk offered six local attractions, including a clown named Blinky who “does hotels.” I called Blinky. Blinky offered to come to my hotel room and do balloon tricks. I considered hiring him.

Blinky the clown! My God, these casinos have it all.

Coining a phase [Philly EDGE]