Bees Swarm New Jersey Turnpike

Over the weekend, the New Jersey Turnpike was covered in beeeeeeees. Yes, a box of bees fell off a truck on the Turnpike in Cherry Hill on Saturday, releasing thousands of bees onto the roadway.

Although the bees hovered around the northbound lanes for a few hours on Saturday, they didn’t cause any traffic accidents or even any slowdown. (A good idea: When accidents cause gaper delays, just release thousands of bees around the area, forcing cars to speed away from the thousands of honeybees flying around.)

“Those poor bees,” said Landi Simone, vice president of the New Jersey Beekeepers Association. “It would be very distressing…it’s conceivable that somebody could get stung, because you’ve got some really confused honeybees there.”

The president could not comment because he had surely been moved to a secure undisclosed location in order to protect him from the thousands upon thousands of bees, too eager to strike back at the man keeping them for so long.

The liberal bee-loving Inquirer decided to take the story a bit differently: “Thousands of bees die when hive falls onto turnpike.” (The story was, naturally, written by Faye Flam.) The bees are being fostered by a local beekeeper; the owner has yet to come forward to get all of his buzzing friends.

Box falls off truck, releasing thousands of bees near Turnpike [The Star-Ledger]
Photo by aussiegall, Creative Commons license

N.J. Wants You To Keep Bees

Everyone hates bees. They’re bugs, they’re annoying, they sting. Everyone is happy about all the bees dying off in America.

But apparently bees are an important part of our ecosystem, as they help flowers mate or something. And bees also make honey! That’s why New Jersey is offering free beekeeping equipment (a $300 value!) and lessons to anyone over the age of 10 willing to try out.

But wait a minute! South Jersey Beekeepers Association president Seth Belson told the Courier-Post “beekeeping is addictive.” Do we really want our children being addicted to keeping bees, strung out junkies who can’t do anything without a taste of honey?

State puts out call to recruit beekeepers [Courier-Post]

‘Inquirer’ Building To Be Covered In Bees?

In college, I took a class with an Inquirer editor who said he was a bit iffy on the idea of draping the Inquirer Building in green to celebrate the Eagles’ run toward the Super Bowl. After all, wasn’t this cheerleading, more befitting of NBC 10 or Comcast SportsNet than the city’s paper of record?

I don’t really want to know what he thinks about this. The Inquirer wants to put a giant bee on top of the building. Today, Philadelphia Media Holdings will request a variance from the zoning board to put two 50-by-75 foot signs and a giant inflatable bee on the Inquirer Building to promote DreamWorks’ The Bee Movie.

The Bulletin couldn’t get Brian Tierney or anyone from PMH to comment — but did spend an inordinate amount of time declaring the Inquirer dead and irrelevant or something — and the Society Created to Reduce Urban Blightis attempting to rally the troops to fight the variance request, because a giant inflatable bee in the city’s skyline is not quite what this city needs.

“It’s a cute bee,” SCRUB Executive Director Mary Tracy said. “But if we are going to oppose the graffiti ads like the Sony people did in our poor neighborhoods we have to say they don’t have right to do that.” To be honest, the Sony ads were much cuter.

Anti-Blight Group Declares ‘Inquirer’ Request ‘Un-bee-lievable’ [The Bulletin]
Inky Brass Seeks Zoning To Cover Itself With 300 Lb. Bees [Philebrity]
Related: Eddie Izzard - Covered in Bees

Apparently There Is Only One Person In Philadelphia Who Knows How To Remove Bees

The bees won’t go away! Yesterday, another swarm showed up at 17th and Chestnut, looking for a place to build a hive.

Although swarms of bees are now daily commuters to Center City, they’re not dangerous, according to Jim Bobb of the Pennsylvania State Beekeepers Association. “You could probably put your hand in the swarm, and they wouldn’t hurt you,” he said. Yeah, I’ll let you do that, Jim Bobb.

The city, however, couldn’t get the bees removed by the same person from the day before. So the city turned to another beekeeper. Er, wait, it didn’t.

But [the woman who removed the bees Tuesday, Nancy] Schnarr was already booked, so she called in a pinch-hitter, her 70-year-old mother, Dawn Potts. Her mother is not a beekeeper, so she had to follow instructions given by cell phone.

The bees, the Inquirer notes, that slack-jawed gawkers “said they had heard that the bees may have come from North Philly,” as the section is known for its vast beehive fields.

Center City abuzz over bees seeking place to call home [Inquirer]
Yesterday: So That’s Where All The Bees Went!

So That’s Where All The Bees Went!

Center City survived a deadly bee attack yesterday.

CENTER CITY - A small section of the sidewalk outside of Liberty Place was shut down for more than three hours yesterday afternoon after a hive of roughly 3,500 bees was found in the trees.

Local beekeepers were called in to handle the situation.

Nancy Schnarr arrived at 16th and Chestnut streets around 3 p.m. and quickly contained the swarm, which would be used to pollenate apple farms and produce honey, she said.

We have a use for the captured bees already! Some Philadelphians do recycle.

Beehive creates buzz outside Liberty Place [Metro]