Bees Swarm New Jersey Turnpike

Over the weekend, the New Jersey Turnpike was covered in beeeeeeees. Yes, a box of bees fell off a truck on the Turnpike in Cherry Hill on Saturday, releasing thousands of bees onto the roadway.

Although the bees hovered around the northbound lanes for a few hours on Saturday, they didn’t cause any traffic accidents or even any slowdown. (A good idea: When accidents cause gaper delays, just release thousands of bees around the area, forcing cars to speed away from the thousands of honeybees flying around.)

“Those poor bees,” said Landi Simone, vice president of the New Jersey Beekeepers Association. “It would be very distressing…it’s conceivable that somebody could get stung, because you’ve got some really confused honeybees there.”

The president could not comment because he had surely been moved to a secure undisclosed location in order to protect him from the thousands upon thousands of bees, too eager to strike back at the man keeping them for so long.

The liberal bee-loving Inquirer decided to take the story a bit differently: “Thousands of bees die when hive falls onto turnpike.” (The story was, naturally, written by Faye Flam.) The bees are being fostered by a local beekeeper; the owner has yet to come forward to get all of his buzzing friends.

Box falls off truck, releasing thousands of bees near Turnpike [The Star-Ledger]
Photo by aussiegall, Creative Commons license

N.J. Wants You To Keep Bees

Everyone hates bees. They’re bugs, they’re annoying, they sting. Everyone is happy about all the bees dying off in America.

But apparently bees are an important part of our ecosystem, as they help flowers mate or something. And bees also make honey! That’s why New Jersey is offering free beekeeping equipment (a $300 value!) and lessons to anyone over the age of 10 willing to try out.

But wait a minute! South Jersey Beekeepers Association president Seth Belson told the Courier-Post “beekeeping is addictive.” Do we really want our children being addicted to keeping bees, strung out junkies who can’t do anything without a taste of honey?

State puts out call to recruit beekeepers [Courier-Post]