I’m alive! Don’t worry. Just been writing and researching things for the paper; it’s taking forever. But soon things will be back to normal here, and I’ll be writing about casinos, closed libraries, lottery ticket-selling groundhogs, etc. You know: Philadelphia.
Anyway, enjoy the ad posted above; since I came across it the other day (again, I think) it’s given me tons of entertainment. If you don’t know, Joe Morgan is a hall of fame second baseman who later became one of the worst analysts of all time. Pete Rose played 3,562 baseball games, each time passing a giant sign in the locker room that says the one thing you can’t do as a baseball player is bet on baseball. Naturally, he’s banned for life for betting on baseball.
If your work blocks YouTube (but for some reason not this site of journalistic excellency), here’s a quick recap: Rose slides into second and Joe Morgan says, “Hey, it’s Pete Rose of the Philadelphia Phillies.” He’s clearly unaware of (1) who the Reds are playing, (2) Pete Rose’s successful at-bat earlier in this inning, and (3) he and Pete were teammates in Cincinnati for most of their careers. In essence: Not paying attention in that particular inning, in that particular game and in that particular baseball career.
But that’s okay, because after losing his helmet sliding into second, Pete Rose stands up and puts on a baseball cap. Maybe that’s why he forgot that sign in the locker room and gambled on the game: Too many times hit in the head by line drives on the basepaths.
Then Pete Rose sings about some after shave or something, I dunno. Can we get Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins to re-enact this?
So, the Mitchell Report leaked. Maybe? I dunno. Couple places had it, email being forwarded around; it’s probably not entirely accurate, possibly fake; who cares, we’re only 30 minutes away anyway.
But, anyway: Lenny Dykstra! David Bell! And… Abraham Nunez!
So, nobody who is on the Phillies now is named, and, uh, one is from 14 years ago. I think we Phillies fans can all survive.
Update: Ha ha, Todd Pratt, too! Nooooo…
Oh, here’s the report; as you may have guessed, that first list was fake since it was an email forward. Nunez: Not on the list.
Late last month, City Council took time out of eating donuts to debate an issue important to all Philadelphians. You see, there’s a movement to retire Roberto Clemente’s number among all teams for all times in baseball, because politicians think it might get them votes from Latino baseball fans.
This really is my first post here. Im 31 and right along with the most of you guys Im a ‘take it way to seriously die-hard’….Since this month has started I have broken up with my GF over this nonsense, and my stomach wont stop churning. Basically the last 2 weeks have been the worst of my life. I realize that Matt probably wont read this, but to whomever does I just wanna say that this site has been cathartic to me and helped me deal with the craziest, wackiest month of my life. It sounds like an AA Meeting, but knowing there are others like me helps. Just like the rest of you I keep going to bed just wanting this to be over, one way or another. Not caring if they lose or win at this point…
And it goes on like that. It’ll be okay, though; the nine strangers you root for not playing so well isn’t the end of the world. Unless the Phillies end up blowing it, in which case it will be.
Hey, guess who’s in town later this week! The Russian national baseball team! And guess who they’re playing! An adult men’s softball baseball team from Philly! And… oh, just read the item from Inqlings.
Russia’s national baseball team, on a U.S. tour as it preps for the Beijing Olympics, will visit Friday to play a 1 p.m. game against the Greater Philadelphia Men’s Adult Baseball League Stars at La Salle University. Two players are from Philly’s sister city of Nizhny Novgorod, so the International Visitors Council of Philadelphia will extend an official welcome. Golden Gate restaurant in the Northeast will host a postgame dinner, and the IVC seeks a “vodka sponsor” to donate 45 bottles. Tax-deductible, says the IVC’s Nancy Gilboy.
Need I remind you that we, America, inventors of base ball, did not qualify for the most recent Olympics, though we’ve apparently qualified for 2008 in Beijing. The team attributed its success to having the right whiskey sponsor.
Also, forty-five bottles? Each player in this game is going to get his own bottle.
Update, 1:07 p.m.: From the Craigslist casual encounters post titled “some cock from the soviet block”: “We are a group of russian guys on a mission to convert as many women as possible to the red side. If interested, send a pic!!! The rockets are up and ready for lift off.” One can only assume these are the same people.
• Oh, the gun rally has made it to Harrisburg! Well, the people on buses. The people who tried to walk there are currently under arrest for attempting to get on the turnpike without a vehicle. [Inquirer]
• Penn students ask: Will Jannie Blackwell run? By the end of this mayoral race, there’s going to be 270 people vying for the Democratic nomination. [Daily Pennsylvanian]
• There’s not much time left to register to vote! But, don’t worry, if you don’t register in time, here’s the little secret about voting that nobody wants you to know about: It doesn’t matter if you do or not. Yes, PWD will be strongly against voting this year. I think it’s the important issues that count. [Metroblogging]
• Animal lover? (Not in that way, you perv.) There are two cute goats — well, cute for goats — for sale on Craigslist. Probably not something you’re allowed to have in a Center City condo, though. [Craigslist]
• Dan Gross admits today to not being William Safire. I, for one, am very confused about the discussion we had about writing speeches for Richard Nixon the other night, then! [DN, second item]
• Oh, yeah: Leave it to conservatives to protest Daylight Savings Time, as we’re not sure how much energy we save and wah wah wah. I knew I’d find an example of someone arguing against DST. [National Review Online]
• Oh. My. God. A bag. of. Puppies. I want to work at a store that sells bags of puppies. [Cute Overload]
• Animal lover? (Not in that way, you perv.) There are 
