Barry’s Big Day

Hey! Come back around 11:30 for my first-ever inauguration liveblog. Consider it my hazing of the new president. And remember this quote I heard on the news as I woke up this morning: “I just hope Obama can bring the change we’ve been hoping for.” That’s what we want from President Obama: A change sandwich made with hope.

10:58: And we’re back! Early, even. Right now I’m at my place, watching CNN; when I turned on the television the first thing I saw was Dick Cheney in a wheelchair. Wolf Blitzer said that “some people will probably make comments about that.”

10:59: Now they’re interviewing John Cusack. And John McCain is apparently not here, although “he wanted to.” Ooh, Steven Spielberg! Man, isn’t democracy great?

11:00: CNN has these little “FACT” boxes at the bottom of the screen. Here’s my favorite one so far: “The three-course meal includes seafood stew, pheasant and duck, molasses sweet poratoes and apple cinnamon sponge cake.”

11:01: Wolf Blitzer just got really close to praising Barack Obama for the nice weather. This is going to be a good day.

More »

Let Freedom Ring

Taken at The Gallery, Sunday morning.

Internet Proven Useless Once Again

I’m all excited about the end of the Bush Administration, as I’m sure everyone except for comedians are. (Actually, I guess I’m pretty bummed about this, too.) But there is another source of nearly limitless amusement that won’t be leaving us anytime soon: The Internet!

The Internet, too, has the added bonus of not being able to start wars. Or, perhaps, do anything: Barack Obama’s Change.gov, which allowed citizens — actual people, like you and me! — to submit ideas to the president before the new election. As one might have expected, the ideas have been pretty much what people who spend a ton of time on the Internet (i.e., upper middle class kids) care about.

The top vote-getter in the first round of voting was marijuana legalization. Obama responded with a one-sentence reply that he was not in favor of it. Considering before the election Obama couldn’t even really come out against >baggy pants laws, this isn’t much of a surprise¹.

But no matter. Stuck with a ton of questions about things like marijuana legalization, Obama punted and instituted a new round of voting. Later, Change.gov instituted a new feature, the Citizens Briefing Book, which is essentially the same thing has before but features Tom Daschle confirming in a video that yes, indeed, children learn better when they’re healthy.

Anyway, the new list is just like the rest of them, which means I can pull out a hilarious collection of ideas (some awesome, some nonsensical, all of them never to be taken seriously by the president) at “random” from the top 30: Ending marijuana prohibition, “Commit to becoming the ‘Greenest’ country in the world”, ending DEA raids on medical marijuana clinics, bullet trains (which would make it easier to get to places carrying our newly-legal pot), “Revoke the Tax Exempt Status of the Church of Scientology”, “Boost America’s Economy with Legal Onine Poker”, ending the drug war, another marijuana legalization one, “Change.gov: Group similar submissions better” and, of course, “End the Truth Embargo on Extraterrestrials (UFO Disclosure).”

Mr. President – Tell us the Truth about the extraterrestrial presence on this planet and release as much relevant information to the American people as possible within reasonable constraints of national security. It is time for the people of the world to know the truth about the universe they inhabit. [...] Until this “Truth Embargo” is ended there will be no public access to technologies derived from extraterrestrial vehicles in this critical time of mounting economic and environmental challenges.

And there’s this one, which is my favorite:

Fortunately, the online populace is just not that into hanging all white people. Phew! I can rest easy. I think I’ll relax by playing some online poker.

¹ I linked that New York Post story because it had the headline I was looking for; however, Googling Obama baggy pants laws gives a bunch of stories with widely conflicting headlines. Most, though, say Obama denounced baggy pants laws. Yes, Obama said that baggy (sagging? saggy?) pants laws were a waste of time, but spent most of his answer telling black men to dress better. “Brothers should pull up their pants,” Obama said. “Now get off my lawn! And it’s the White House lawn, too, so what the hell, how did you kids even get in here anyway?” He didn’t say those last two sentences. I kind of felt they were implied.

That Google search keeps on giving, too: It also gives us a story from November’s New York Times titled, “Can Obama Help Kill Baggy Pants Look?.

Gun Sales… And Barack Obama?

Here’s an excellent Fox 29 promo to hopefully cheer you up this somber Martin Luther King Day. (Somber because of the Eagles, not the fine Rev. Dr.) My best guess is this story is actually pretty boring: Gun sales are rising before Obama’s presidency because people think he will enact new gun control laws. Possible? I guess, but it’s not like you still won’t be able to get guns. This is America, after all!

But let’s hope it’s something like, “People are expecting America to turn into a vast wasteland and these people are stocking up to guard their food silos!” Neat.

Can We Wear Obama On A Bandana? YES WE CAN!

Let’s start this inauguration off right: With this wonderful accessory my wonderful girlfriend purchased for me today near 30th Street Station. There’s even a website address on it in case you really need one of these. Ha ha, the Obama Pepsi knockoff logos in the corner! And the little sheep holding the Obama flag! Man, not even president yet and he’s already broken the record for presidential commemorative merchandise.

I’ll also direct you to this incredible faux-Warhol shirt Erica bought. Look, the inauguration is pretty cool, and Obama’s “Georgia 300″ train is really awesome, but I think it’s all the people trying to make a buck that are really getting into the true spirit of America. It almost makes a man want to cry.

Joe Biden’s speaking in Wilmington. He just quoted James Joyce: “When I die, Delaware will be written in my heart.”

Google ‘Obama Looking Hopeful’

Everyone’s a-writin’ about Obama again, what with the inauguration coming up next week. (I voted “No” on that Facebook poll, by the way.) From Inquirer photographer Tom Gralish comes the story of the photo behind the Obama “HOPE” poster, made by Shepard Fairey. Turns out it’s a Reuters photo by Jim Young, shot in 2007, of Obama during the confirmation hearings for Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte.

Fun story, plus it’s so appropriate that the enduring image of the 2008 campaign is, in essence, a stolen Reuters photo found with a Google Image Search and then flipped horizontally. I can only hope Fairey was using a bootleg copy of Photoshop as well.

The Obama Poster Photographer ID’d [Scene on the Road]
Image via Mike Webkist used under a Creative Commons license

Total Winners, Indeed

At the risk of these selling out and me not being able to get one, here’s a shirt from Space 1026. Available Thursday at B2 cafe, 6-9 pm, and Saturday at the Punk Rock Flea Market.

Barack Obama & the Philadelphia Phillies Total Winners!!! [Space 1026]

Kids Will Have To Cut School To Attend Obama’s Inauguration

I woke up this morning to the soothing sounds of KYW 1060 and heard that school superintendent Arlene Ackerman and her staff had been agonizing over a decision. Mike DeNardo reported Ackerman said it was an “excruciating decision.” What was it, you ask? Why, naturally, whether to close schools on Inauguration Day!

Naturally, schools will be open on Jan. 20, and “a curriculum is being developed for every grade level.” Ackerman says she hopes all the kids get a chance to watch it live, in school. (Chances of this happening: 0%. Prove me wrong, Arlene!)

If that does happen, it’s probably the best of both worlds. Kids whose parents drive them down to Washington, D.C., and get stuck in traffic somewhere in Maryland, will have excused absences for the day.

Schools in Phila. Will be Open on Inauguration Day, Jan. 20 [KYW 1060]

Sad ‘Bulletin’

Check this out: The Bulletin’s front page today is all about Barack Obama’s secret Kenyan birth (or whatever), and how the Supreme Court isn’t going to listen to the truth. More importantly, there’s now a convenient full coverage archive that features hilarious quotes about Barack Obama like, “This is the first time in the history of our government that an unqualified person has run for the office of president.” You can almost hear the rimshot.

Best Philly.com Headline Ever

Why, yes, Rick Santorum would be a poor choice for Barack Obama’s transition team! Didn’t know he was being considered, though…

Oh, yes, I see, this is part of Rick Santorum’s weekly column for the Inquirer. Let’s take a look:

Sangh Parivar is a family of Hindu nationalist organizations united in favor of Hindu supremacy in India. It includes the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), of which VHP is an offshoot. The BJP is the political party of these groups.

OH!