Dude Looks Like A Lady

The FBI — they investigate all bank robberies — has released the photograph of The Cross-Dressing Bandit who robbed Commerce Bank in West Philly.

We can only hope he will go on a slew of crimes and become the newest media meme to travel through the local press. The Cross-Dressing Bandit apparently takes his cues from Barry Bonds, and also carried a purse/man bag in order to really sell the robbery. But what if this is just a really ugly woman and not a dude in drag?

Man dressed as woman robs bank [6 ABC]

Commerce Bank Finally Robbed Again

The Penn branch of Commerce Bank (at 38th and Walnut streets) was robbed yesterday by a man with a blonde wig dressed as a woman.

Phew, I say. It had apparently hadn’t been robbed since 2004; the branch was robbed eight times between 1996 and 2004. (It was also robbed twice in one week in April of ‘03.) No word on what led to the four-year drought of robberies at Commerce Bank, but, finally, the fabled Curse of the No Bank Robberies On Penn’s Campus is over.

News Brief: Commerce Bank on campus robbed [DP]
Busy Commerce Bank a robbery target [DP]

Good Looking Man Could Not Possibly Be Killer

A neighbor to the Daily News on alleged robber/killer Mustafa Ali:

IT’S HARD for some Northeast Philadelphians to jibe news accounts about accused cold-blooded armored-truck killer Mustafa Ali with the neighbor that they saw: A good-looking and seemingly hardworking dad to three small kids.

“He’s a really attractive man, and he has three beautiful kids,” said Deborah Lewis, 37, a neighbor of Ali in the Franklin Square Townhomes on Woodhaven Road in the Far Northeast . “I’d see him come home from work with the kids, but he never spoke to me.”

The guy also had a job and after murdering two people went home and go to sleep, which a neighbor calls “really mental.” And there’s a ton of great bordering-on-old timey newspaper speak Daily News-type phrases, like cold-blooded armored-truck killer, retired cops-turned-armored-car guards, ruthlessness of the killer, etc.

Slay charges befuddle [Daily News]

Pennsylvania Gets A Mad Hatter Of Its Own

Earlier this week the feds captured The Mad Hatter bank robber, James Madison, in North Jersey. But never fear, fans of kinda sorta funny crimes!

Pennsylvania now has its own Mad Hatter bank robber, pictured at right. The man is suspected of robbing three banks, the most recent one taking place Monday in Buckingham, Bucks County. 6 ABC reports he’s “believed to be in his 50’s with a medium build… [and is] also described as having a chubby face.”

Of course, “Mad Hatter” might be a little generous description of the chubby-faced man. I don’t know where you think, but where I’m from, we call what he’s wearing on his head in the photo a lamp shade.

New Hat-Wearing Bandit Hits Bucks Co. Banks [6 ABC]
Monday: Founding Father Robs Alexander Hamilton’s Bank