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New Jersey To Keep Alcohol In Speakeasies

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All those people who went out to the polls to vote on alcohol laws — dry towns going wet — in New Jersey Wednesday were, well, not really interested in additional tax revenues from alcohol sales.

In Pitman, the GOP candidates rode into office by blasting a ballot question asking to allow liquor sales. The Republican mayor elect of the former Methodist camp: “A lot of people were upset about seeing a liquor license (question) on the ballot, upset that it even came up.”

Meanwhile, in Moorestown — the #1 place in the United States to live, Terrell Owens Front Yard Sit-Up Hall of Fame location, etc. — voters emphatically rejected liquor sales. The measure failed by a Taubenberger-like number, attracting only 38 percent of the vote.

That was partially the work of Baird C. Foster, who purchased 150 yellow signs opposing the measure. “The people who care about Moorestown’s heritage and civility have spoken,” he said. “People say you can’t fight city hall, or in this case town council, and the results speak for themselves.” He also noted a man pushed his wife in a wheelchair to vote, while an old woman walked slowly with a cane. Just to vote against alcohol!

So while Denver votes to tell the police to stop arresting pot smokers — joining Seattle and a few small towns who passed similar measures. Hey, the cops have more important things to do than stop people from smoking pot! The people say. The cops plan to keep issuing $100 tickets anyway. (More from the NYT.)

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Casino Foes Strike Back With Allegedly Funny Video

The above was commissioned by Casino Free Philadelphia, the group protesting casinos that — since the question was bumped off the ballot — will be holding its own vote on May 15 asking Philadelphians if they want casinos in the city. (Gee, I wonder who’s going to win the vote.)

The video arrived with a press release from CFP, titled: “CASINO-FREE PHILA USES HUMOR TO HIT BACK AT SUGARHOUSE.” This, of course, prepared me that no humor would be involved in hitting back at SugarHouse. Ha ha! He has a combover! And he’s gambling in a church! I get it!

None of this stopped the release from touting its huge gains among the bloggerati:

Numerous bloggers have supported the casino referendum, including Chris Bowers of myDD.com, Philebrity, and YPP bloggers. Bloggers and online journalists like PhillyIsFunny have used heavy (and sometimes crude) satire to talk about casinos, which such titles as “Council Approves Slots Referendum, Rendell Pees Self” or Philebrity’s “When Cockblocking Goes Wrong: Street Gets His Veto Veto’ed!”

The casinos, confused by this press release, apparently decided they needed to respond with an even lamer idea of their own, i.e. a pro-casino rally yesterday. Yes, a bunch of union workers and guys in suits put aside their differences and banded together to rally for casinos to be built in Philadelphia in what one observer (me) called “the saddest protest ever.”

Coming soon, “older Pennsylvanians” will be protesting for a new lottery instant game featuring Gus the Groundhog, as this will allow them to reap even more benefits from the numbers.

Full Casino Free Philadelphia release after the jump.

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